Friday, May 1, 2015

When the Going Gets Tough, the Tough ... Assemble Vacuum Cleaners

There are many dreams I might have had for this day but, as I am sure you have already guessed, standing above all of those things is the glorious splendor of domesticity and learning the intricacies of assembling vacuum cleaners.

It's a Dyson which I gather is a good one but what is good about something that makes such an infernal noise.  Open the windows and let the wind blow the dust away.  God made the dust so he should deal with it.  Are you with me on this, men?

(Ed:  shut up, bitch.  I had to assemble one.  You have to assemble one.)

Nevertheless, good sir, I submit this is May Day, the day of the workers, the builders, the people who put the world together while people in offices took credit for it.  I should spend such a day assembling a vacuum cleaner?  It's disrespectful to all the workers who have been beaten to shit by rent-a-cop thugs for standing in strike lines for fair treatment.

(Ed:  see above about shut the fuck up and assemble the vacuum cleaner)

Well, ok.  I don't see a whole lot of workers around so my process of elimination tells me you are correct.

Um, one tiny question:  how the hell do you assemble a vacuum cleaner?

No comments: