Sunday, August 9, 2015

Fun with Pronouns for Sexist Pigs

When you say 'he caught the ball,' immediately you're a vile sexist pig because, unless you saw it, how do you it was a man.  Perhaps you rewrite it as 'she caught the ball' but that just makes you a vile bleeding heart sexist pig.

(Ed:  if we're going to be called sexist pigs anyway, why do anything?)

Because the problem isn't the pigs, they're highly-intelligent and clean animals, but rather it's with the pronoun.  More accurately, it's the absence of a pronoun to refer to a person without reference to gender.

Therefore we propose 'apt' for the new pronoun and you could write 'apt caught the ball' thus freeing yourself from charges of sexism.

(Ed:  what is apt?)

APT means Apparently Human Thing and (ooh) it's so amazing it turns into an actual word.

(Ed:  you will also need one for the Tea Party)

Why?  Gibbons will achieve human status before the Tea Party.  Obviously they're not human as they said the body will reject impregnation after a rape.  No human body can do that, ergo they are not human.


Please get cracking on changing the entire English language by this afternoon.  Failure to do so will only confirm what Jeb Bush said, "You lazy motherfuckers aren't worth a shit and don't work hard enough, nowhere near as I hard as I had to work picking up my silver spoon and collecting my trust fund checks."

Right after that, he said, "Read my hips," so we don't think Jeb Bush's pizza really got the full complement of pepperonis ... although his fat ass did.

No comments: