We wondered what would happen if Donald Trump went up against some real candidates rather than the yokels he faced last night and who better to represent the Republican Party than the only honest one they have had in at least a century: Dwight Eisenhower.
The debate started with Megyn Kelly being asked to make coffee by Ike. She said that wasn't her role. He told her unless you can do what I'm doing then make the fucking coffee. She went to make the coffee.
Then Ike turned to Trump and said, "I won WWII. So, what have you got?"
Trump replied, "I have hair."
Ike said, "Impressive. Which ones are real?"
Then he turned to Kelly and said skip the coffee, dear. It won't take long enough to finish this idiot to drink the cup.
Kelly got annoyed about him calling her 'dear' but Ike had already left the room.
Fox News now owns the greatest embarrassment to the GOP since ... what was the last fiasco ...
"Read my lips" from George "The Most Extremely Oldest" Bush and this became the symbol of GOP spinelessness.
Well, anything the Bush family has done has been an embarrassment. George "The Smarter Than His Idiot Brother" Bush called himself The War President ... but then he went home. Maybe he needs to talk to Ike as well.
Watergate - only a true genius can turn a second-rate burglary into an impeachment.
Iran/Contra - Oliver North was trading weapons with Iran for Reagan. Let's ask Trump what he thinks of Saint Ronald for that. Let's see those greaseballs explain how that behavior factors into Iran's positions today.
Clinton matched Watergate genius in turning a blow job into an impeachment but he was pretending to be a Democrat at the time so it didn't count in this ranking.
The debate started with Megyn Kelly being asked to make coffee by Ike. She said that wasn't her role. He told her unless you can do what I'm doing then make the fucking coffee. She went to make the coffee.
Then Ike turned to Trump and said, "I won WWII. So, what have you got?"
Trump replied, "I have hair."
Ike said, "Impressive. Which ones are real?"
Then he turned to Kelly and said skip the coffee, dear. It won't take long enough to finish this idiot to drink the cup.
Kelly got annoyed about him calling her 'dear' but Ike had already left the room.
Fox News now owns the greatest embarrassment to the GOP since ... what was the last fiasco ...
"Read my lips" from George "The Most Extremely Oldest" Bush and this became the symbol of GOP spinelessness.
Well, anything the Bush family has done has been an embarrassment. George "The Smarter Than His Idiot Brother" Bush called himself The War President ... but then he went home. Maybe he needs to talk to Ike as well.
Watergate - only a true genius can turn a second-rate burglary into an impeachment.
Iran/Contra - Oliver North was trading weapons with Iran for Reagan. Let's ask Trump what he thinks of Saint Ronald for that. Let's see those greaseballs explain how that behavior factors into Iran's positions today.
Clinton matched Watergate genius in turning a blow job into an impeachment but he was pretending to be a Democrat at the time so it didn't count in this ranking.
No comments:
Post a Comment