The camera is ordered and it will arrive on Friday. I decided even if no-one else ever cares to see it, I do. This will destroy any chance of surviving the month and I thought I'd put up the Donate button in the chance it would help but really I knew I would just humiliate myself with it again.
The favorite was one who even came to the Circus to rave the music is great, you've got to put it online and people will buy it for sure. I put it online and she downloaded a copy but donated (drum roll) zip.
It's all just a game to them.
Busking doesn't work for multiple reasons. The most obvious is that what I do would satisfy rednecks like serving lemonade at the Lone Star Bar. The second is they're still Texans and they will still steal what's left of the kit. The biggest practical killer is it still takes a generator or a car battery to run the stuff and there's no chance I can carry anything to do that.
The part you don't see it is that the only time I will go out is at six in the morning when I can get to Wal-Mart in the dark. Anywhere else I'm a homeless ragbag who probably uses heroin and abuses children but inside Wal-Mart no-one has any money and being a ragbag doesn't matter. I never go anywhere else. In there I can make people smile. Anywhere else it's pointless to try.
Mostly my perception of things is if people think of the music at all then it's in terms of good therapy (i.e. at least it stops him from hanging around in public toilets or consorting with politicians).
I'm sick of living like this as it's years of it now and there's no way it can change. The Donate sign is begging and the only consolation is that at least it's not begging the state which I will never do.
(Ed: why?)
Bill McCabe. He was the first kid from Aiken who was killed in Vietnam. I don't know if anyone else remembers his name but I do and I will never forgive for he and fifty five thousand others.
I know I can go rah rah cops, military, conservatives and let's go fuck some shit up for America and democracy and Jesus. People will love me and want to know my name.
So I'm sick of it. I'm sick of being called a thief at any random interval that amuses some fool harridans, I'm sick of sneaking around in the dark because I'm ashamed to be seen, and I'm sick of not having any idea if the music was ever worth a shit.
The favorite was one who even came to the Circus to rave the music is great, you've got to put it online and people will buy it for sure. I put it online and she downloaded a copy but donated (drum roll) zip.
It's all just a game to them.
Busking doesn't work for multiple reasons. The most obvious is that what I do would satisfy rednecks like serving lemonade at the Lone Star Bar. The second is they're still Texans and they will still steal what's left of the kit. The biggest practical killer is it still takes a generator or a car battery to run the stuff and there's no chance I can carry anything to do that.
The part you don't see it is that the only time I will go out is at six in the morning when I can get to Wal-Mart in the dark. Anywhere else I'm a homeless ragbag who probably uses heroin and abuses children but inside Wal-Mart no-one has any money and being a ragbag doesn't matter. I never go anywhere else. In there I can make people smile. Anywhere else it's pointless to try.
Mostly my perception of things is if people think of the music at all then it's in terms of good therapy (i.e. at least it stops him from hanging around in public toilets or consorting with politicians).
I'm sick of living like this as it's years of it now and there's no way it can change. The Donate sign is begging and the only consolation is that at least it's not begging the state which I will never do.
(Ed: why?)
Bill McCabe. He was the first kid from Aiken who was killed in Vietnam. I don't know if anyone else remembers his name but I do and I will never forgive for he and fifty five thousand others.
I know I can go rah rah cops, military, conservatives and let's go fuck some shit up for America and democracy and Jesus. People will love me and want to know my name.
So I'm sick of it. I'm sick of being called a thief at any random interval that amuses some fool harridans, I'm sick of sneaking around in the dark because I'm ashamed to be seen, and I'm sick of not having any idea if the music was ever worth a shit.
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