There was a lady at about eighty-four years who was arrested for a major jewel theft in the southern US. This arrest came after a career of jewel thievery in Monte Carlo and all the cool places to steal the richest jewels.
And we love it. We love jewel thieves. They're stealing stuff none of us will ever see and we couldn't care less if they clean out the whole place. Sure, pal. Here's the Hope Diamond. Did you want to take that too?
Jewel thieves are classy as they never use guns. These are your thinking criminals. On the lower level there are bankers but they're just glorified loan sharks. The best thinkers in crime are always jewel thieves ... and they're the best-looking too, aren't they. Bankers get fat but jewel thieves get slinky.
All of it is a hoax as the ultra-expensive jewels never leave the safe anyway. All the flashy stuff the celebrities wear is an imitation of the real thing. They buy the right to wear that imitation when they buy the actual jewelry.
(Ed: how is this different from the Emperor's New Clothes?)
It isn't. They have no idea if the real jewelry is still in the safe and that's what makes life so groovy for jewel thieves; they're stealing something someone else can't even use. The only possible application for expensive jewelry is to steal it as you can't wear it anywhere.
Sorry they busted you, lady, but, at eighty-four, it might be time to retire from cat burglary anyway. (WSOC: Infamous 84-year-old jewel thief named in SouthPark Mall heist)
And we love it. We love jewel thieves. They're stealing stuff none of us will ever see and we couldn't care less if they clean out the whole place. Sure, pal. Here's the Hope Diamond. Did you want to take that too?
Jewel thieves are classy as they never use guns. These are your thinking criminals. On the lower level there are bankers but they're just glorified loan sharks. The best thinkers in crime are always jewel thieves ... and they're the best-looking too, aren't they. Bankers get fat but jewel thieves get slinky.
All of it is a hoax as the ultra-expensive jewels never leave the safe anyway. All the flashy stuff the celebrities wear is an imitation of the real thing. They buy the right to wear that imitation when they buy the actual jewelry.
(Ed: how is this different from the Emperor's New Clothes?)
It isn't. They have no idea if the real jewelry is still in the safe and that's what makes life so groovy for jewel thieves; they're stealing something someone else can't even use. The only possible application for expensive jewelry is to steal it as you can't wear it anywhere.
Sorry they busted you, lady, but, at eighty-four, it might be time to retire from cat burglary anyway. (WSOC: Infamous 84-year-old jewel thief named in SouthPark Mall heist)
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