Monday, June 1, 2015

Real Racing - iPad Game

On a real race track I drive clean as I'm really not interested in other karts on the track because they just get in the way.  An empty track is the fastest track of all.

Most of my brothers and sisters also raced and it seemed most of them needed competition for it to be fun for them.  One brother loved crashing and banging but I never saw that as any particular victory.  If you really want to annihilate someone's soul, you need to take them in chess or Scrabble.  After a defeat in either one, the loser knows he or she is fit only for eating pig slop and sleeping in mud.

Note: before there's a farmer uprising on that last, I'm told pigs are clean animals and are exceptionally intelligent.  Which means they can probably beat you in Scrabble.

However ...

An iPad virtual racing game isn't much as it doesn't even give a hint of what it's like to run a race when you're soaked in gasoline (I have done this and, yes, I do have witnesses, quite a few of them).

The Real Racing game on the iPad is a grasping piece of shit as it's constantly looking for ways for you to buy things (i.e. for US cash) but it's cool if you ignore that stuff as the racing physics are surprisingly good.

That's not the coolest part, tho, as it lets me drive as dirty as I like and what this means is your car is my brake, sunshine.  If I get inside you on a corner then I don't need brakes as hitting your car will slow me down just fine.  You will end up in the dirt but that's your problem.  Another oldie but a goodie is to tap another car from behind to make it slide and then get underneath it to push it off the track.  These techniques work supremely well in the game and I am one filthy driver.  I also win quite a bit.  If I keep this up, it will make me a Republican.

There are outstanding tracks represented as I've been around Silverstone, Hochenheimring, and Spa Francorchamps, the latter long-acknowledged as the fastest in the world but who knows if that is still true given so many new tracks have been built in the last twenty years or so.

The action, graphics, and overall realism are stunning, particularly for such a stupid device as the compute power of an iPad is lower than a Huckabee Baptist which is to say the lights just ain't on.

Hallelujah Pedophiles for Jesus

wtf?  WTF????

On that cheery note, I'm guessing this report is concluded.


Note:  the above is a specific slam of Huckabee and those who follow him.  If you're a Baptist and you follow him then do feel free to fuck yourself, it may save a child.

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