Thursday, June 25, 2015

Ouchie, Me Achin' Back

This is Day Two of a Limited-Duty Profile (i.e. I ain't doin' nothin') for this PLC (Private Lowest Class).  Everybody over forty who ever lifted anything heavier than an 8 1/2" x 11" sheet of paper in an office knows what 'throwing out your back' means.

Since you already know what it feels like, there's nothing I need to write except to acknowledge it's my turn in the barrel and the whining will be kept to a minimum.


As to lifting nothing but sheets of paper in an office in your life, I'm guessing these ones are even more likely to have back troubles as they get older as there's not much muscle tone and no defense.

Everyone has an individual cleverness for achieving back misery in later years but my favorite was falling in love with a concrete dinosaur.  That aspect wasn't so terrible except (sob) it never did return my love.  The problem part was in my oh so macho thinking I could get such a concrete dinosaur into the garden without assistance.  And that wasn't really the problem either as I did accomplish that task.

But your body remembers stuff like that.  It remembers the day you thought, wow, it would be so cool to have a concrete dinosaur in the garden and it doesn't forgive dumb ass thinking like that.  And it waits.

And waits.

And then there's that little pop in your back.

Down for three or four days again.

And there's no whining as everyone else has their own concrete dinosaur so it happens to everyone.  There's some science behind this in the thinking the human body really isn't fully evolved for standing erect and this is part of the reason for weakness in one's back ... but right now my concrete dinosaur don't care nothin' about science.

It doesn't care about pain medication either.  I will not take muscle relaxers and I won't take any of that codeine poison.  If it's so bad you can't stand it then someone can take you to the E.R. and insist on a shot of IV Valium.  That will get you some sleep and then it'll start to get better.  That codeine is poison and it kills a lot (i.e. a LOT) of Americans.

Note:  Americans are named specifically in that context as those types of drugs are abused in this country more commonly than anywhere else in the world and overdoses kill one hell of a lot of people.  Poison is not an exaggeration.

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