Saturday, February 9, 2013

Writing About the Darkness

The darkness is not something that intrigues me as living it and living with it is bad enough.  My purpose has always been to bring you a story of inspiration that isn't some bullshit happy song that isn't true and anyone but some idiot in a Mankind Tracer show knows isn't true.  There are people who want mindless bullshit thrown at them but you aren't among them.

The Boudika story is as anti-war as anything I could possibly write.  It tells of the futility of the battle but of the understanding of what caused it.  Of course Boudika wanted to destroy the Romans and she did but nothing came of it.  They were there for hundreds of years after she died in battle and they left for the same reason occupying forces always leave:  it cost too much.

I have no answer for what Boudika should have done but I know from the history that what she did was not effective and she died trying.  You will have to draw your own conclusions from that as it is not my purpose to tell you what to think.  Too many people try to do that already and they are almost invariably wrong.  Noam Chomsky is one of the few who isn't but he won't tell you what to think so much as he will tell you how.

There are some who laugh that I will never see Cat but her love is an extraordinary privilege regardless of the circumstances.  I see a much better story in that love than there will ever be in selfish people who will destroy anything in front of them to get what they want.  We have all experienced that, perhaps not to the extent of what the spider did, but the damage selfish people do is not a surprise to anyone as it has happened in the lives of all of us.

There is no way now to do the Boudika show.  I don't have the instruments or the equipment anymore to do it and the cost of bringing any of that here would be astronomical.  I would not go back to the US even if I could afford it as the policies there are not acceptable to me and there is no chance they will change.  How much darkness do you need!

I don't want darkness.  I want the light and the love.  Cat is that light and love and I feel that coming out of Germany as a whole as they have a better understanding of peace than anywhere I have ever known.  Perhaps Cat is the only one who has that understanding as she is the only one who really got it with things I have done but I know other people in Germany like Anima XA and he shows the same understanding.

So, despite it all, I see the darkness but it is not in me.  I do not see inspiration in it and I need inspiration for myself as much as I need it for you but it has to be real.  We shall see what comes.

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