But, verily, I have seen the error of my ways. I don't want to be a libtard anymore, I want to embrace the knowledge or whatever it is of the Tea Party and defend America before they freely throw me the fuck out of it.
Therefore, I freely enter the Ten Steps Toward Libtard Freedom:
1) Global warming is a hoax engineered for corporate profits by special-interest liberals. Any fool can see this, of course.
2) The Internet invented Al Gore. He is not real. He is a hologram. Spotted owls are not real either.
3) Any moral law is good so long as Republicans make it but is a shameless governmental intrusion if Democrats do it. This is an important distinction as you can never tell what those pinko libtards will do next. Maybe they will give women the vote.
4) Guns don't shoot people who don't deserve to be shot.
5) Any bomb dropped outside of the U.S. is an act toward peace. Any bomb dropped on the U.S. is an act of war ... unless China tells Japan to piss off with their fading pretensions of being a world power and that would be just as good. Bomb them too.
6) I promise I will absolutely ignore what the Marshall Plan did for Europe after WWII and will instead get with the modern program of bombing the fuck out the target until no-one is left alive.
7) I accept that Stalinism is not dead and we must stop the Communist aggression wherever it goes ... just as soon as we can find some.
8) All poor people should die because they breathe too much.
9) I will always tell people how much I love America and freedom before I repossess someone's house and throw them out of the country.
10) But, most of all, I will never really give a fuck because .... da da ... I've got mine and bugger you, Jack.
11) Finally, George Soros really is the Anti-Christ and is the source of all evil in the world.
(Ed: those were eleven steps, Mathematics Boy)
I'm not a libtard now. Arithmetic doesn't matter because practically everything goes off the book anyway.
Therefore, I freely enter the Ten Steps Toward Libtard Freedom:
1) Global warming is a hoax engineered for corporate profits by special-interest liberals. Any fool can see this, of course.
2) The Internet invented Al Gore. He is not real. He is a hologram. Spotted owls are not real either.
3) Any moral law is good so long as Republicans make it but is a shameless governmental intrusion if Democrats do it. This is an important distinction as you can never tell what those pinko libtards will do next. Maybe they will give women the vote.
4) Guns don't shoot people who don't deserve to be shot.
5) Any bomb dropped outside of the U.S. is an act toward peace. Any bomb dropped on the U.S. is an act of war ... unless China tells Japan to piss off with their fading pretensions of being a world power and that would be just as good. Bomb them too.
6) I promise I will absolutely ignore what the Marshall Plan did for Europe after WWII and will instead get with the modern program of bombing the fuck out the target until no-one is left alive.
7) I accept that Stalinism is not dead and we must stop the Communist aggression wherever it goes ... just as soon as we can find some.
8) All poor people should die because they breathe too much.
9) I will always tell people how much I love America and freedom before I repossess someone's house and throw them out of the country.
10) But, most of all, I will never really give a fuck because .... da da ... I've got mine and bugger you, Jack.
11) Finally, George Soros really is the Anti-Christ and is the source of all evil in the world.
(Ed: those were eleven steps, Mathematics Boy)
I'm not a libtard now. Arithmetic doesn't matter because practically everything goes off the book anyway.
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