Wednesday, November 5, 2014

Kick Out de Jams, Brothers and Sisters

Perhaps some of you remember those lyrics a little differently and so do I but I thought I would try for a title that isn't offensive.  The thought won't last long, I'm sure.

No report on jams but spoke with the Cadillac Man for some while and that was good.  He didn't think I'm particularly crazy or depressed.  That's kind of disappointing as I so want to be crazy.  That would make everything make sense.

We talked a bit about the medical situation and whether to wave it off.  He did not perceive my logic as flawed and there's no need for detail on it as it is really about the focus on quality of life.  When something offers nothing toward that and actively detracts from something that can then it is not, in my view, logical to continue with it.  I am going slowly with a decision as I'm aware depression can skew that perspective.

Michael Murphy, a writer friend from way back, wanted his ultimate bit to be "Why Do People Fuck Themselves Up" and it's a good theme as more often than not we will.  So, um, why.  (I haven't seen him in a very long time.  One highly-mystical fellow, that one.)

Part of that is what escape means as I don't view anything I do as escape and I don't view anything I do as coping.  Reefer is something that enables a view into a world I believe is real.  I've painted it before and I will again in the latest project.  Cigarettes are the same thing as they're cheap speed and are the juice, the extra two-barrels on the carb, the kickdown.

Breaking the second part is the situation.  It doesn't matter what the VA does as the only substantive action is to stop that.  Some of you have smoked and quit and I'm happy for you.  Anyone familiar with it knows it's a ton more than physical addiction or stopping would be relatively easy.  You can shake it off in three or four days and I've done it.

That doesn't answer getting into it, getting as smoked-up, coked-up, wired-up to get as deep as possible into this world.  This isn't an escape of your corporeal world but rather a pursuit of that one.  Perhaps that seems deluded but I'm not impressed by things that don't last and music goes forever; whatever happens in this world never does.  The way music goes forever is by never going anywhere so have a nice Zen with that.

Also, here's a tidbit for atheists in that a single concept from mathematics undercuts atheism and that's infinity, right.

So, um, Doktor Numberski, can God make a number so big he cannot personally himself lift it.

(Thank you, George Carlin)

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