Friday, September 1, 2017

Mother Gorilla Proves the Cultural Evolution in Humans from Gorillas


Finally there is photographic proof, Mama Gorillas put marks on trees to identify the growth spurts in their babies.  Humans often use kitchen door frames for this purpose and, thus, the proof of evolutionary continuity is demonstrated.

Zen Yogi:  gorillas into Republicans, right?

Noooo, Yogi, since gorillas are gentle vegetarians and will never give you any trouble if you don't screw with them.  Republicans evolved down a different path into Homo sapiens ret.

Zen Yogi:  what does ret. mean?

Homo sapiens retrogradius

Zen Yogi:  which path did they follow to get there?

No-one cares, Yogi; we're just glad we weren't on it.


Zen Yogi:  don't you think you're being a little harsh on Republicans, Silas?

Like hell, Brer Bear, didn't you see the size of that last Reagan Rat?  The fuckers are gigantic.

Zen Yogi:  why are they Reagan Rats, Silas?

Ronald Reagan cut off the funding to a Federal program which had been successfully bringing city rat populations under control.  He said the states needed to pick up the cost instead of the Fed but that was just the standard GOP bullshit for plausible deniability since the states never pick up the cost and, what do you know, now there are rats in the cities the size of Queen Elizabeth's corgis.

Zen Yogi:  why does she have so many Corgis?

A Queen doesn't have to clean up after the puppies, mate.


My ol' Mother:  I have long-time love and respect for Queen Liz

I know that, Anne, and you always sound just like her but she's in a bad situation since Theresa May disgraces her yet she lacks the procedural power to chop off her fuckin' head.

My ol' Mother: well, that's all Tories ever understand, isn't it

Zen Yogi:  you call your mother by her first name, Silas?

Sure, Yogi, and I have done most of my life.

Zen Yogi:  why?

It was at the request of the 'rents since they wanted to raise adults rather than children.

Zen Yogi:  you never grew up

Well, it was never my intention to grow up, Yogi.


Anne, I know you have a solution for Theresa May and it only takes two words, one of which you never uttered in the fifty+ years previously.

My ol' Mother:  fuck her (with vocalizing which is the audio image of Queen Elizabeth)

I don't recall the object of her scorn but we were cryin', Brer Bear.  No-one ever thought that word would pass her lips since that was the Bad Word that Bob Says ... and she fuckin' said it.

Zen Yogi:  you corrupted her, Silas

Like hell I did since she was a voracious reader and had consumed much of contemporary fiction (along with a great many other things) including that which was Banned in Boston so she knew the word, Yogi; we just never heard her say it.

It was sublime, my furry bear buddy.

Zen Yogi:  you should have criticized her harshly and brought her back to the Christian way

I know you're just fuckin' with me, Yogi, but I should criticize my ol' Mother, the one who gave me life, for using the word which was the mechanism for doing it?

Will not happen, Brer Bear.


Fuck is such a bad word ... after it made us all, Yogi.

Zen Yogi:  I hear humans talk and it shows me I am better off talking to bears

Moi?

Zen Yogi:  you're ok, Silas.  You're almost cool enough to be an honorary bear.

Can I hang out at your place then?

Zen Yogi:  I said you're almost cool enough.  Don't push it.

The Ones Who Won't Say Fuck are the ones who want to call it procreation.  WTF is that, Yogi.  It sounds like team-playing to stack LEGO blocks.

Zen Yogi:  that's not sexy

That's not sexy at all, Yogi.

Zen Yogi:  how come people like that get hot and skinny wives?

They're rich and their trophy wives are dumb as rocks (e.g. Louise Lipton).

Zen Yogi:  my friend, Linda, is much cooler than that

I have no doubt of it, Yogi.

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