It seems feeling like I deserve what happens to me now is a symptom of depression and this is not real.
But how about if I really do deserve it. For whatever reason, I left the Mystery Lady and I'm damn sure not going to blame it on her. I let Bibi wreck the Galactic Peace Tour and make a mess of things with many of you. Every single one of you hated her but I thought, what's the big deal, it's just a party. And it was until she got near it.
So if I don't deserve it then that makes me a victim and that's even more contemptible than being a depressed crazy fucker.
I do NOT feel depressed. I don't cry my eyes out at night or sit staring at a wall wishing Daddy, won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz. It's not that I want to and don't, it just doesn't matter. What I've told you all along is that I want to play something that doesn't suck. I don't believe that quest is hopeless. If I did I might buy this idea of depression. Fact is, tho ... I don't.
But, even if I am, so what. Going near shrinks is worse than going near dope dealers as they're guaranteed to addict you to something and they have way more toys than dope dealers, plus they're very much more pernicious (e.g. I can make you productive but you'll give up 25% of your mind through drugging to do it). Ritalin school kids are the perfect example of the amorality of the psychiatric profession. That's a bad answer.
So I shall continue although not tonight as timing rules have to be enforced. The plan is to be asleep for the night at midnight. If I need to take something to do that then I will as I'm very clear of the goal: break the vampire shift. This stands in the way of making a song that doesn't suck so it's seems pretty clear it's got to go.
But how about if I really do deserve it. For whatever reason, I left the Mystery Lady and I'm damn sure not going to blame it on her. I let Bibi wreck the Galactic Peace Tour and make a mess of things with many of you. Every single one of you hated her but I thought, what's the big deal, it's just a party. And it was until she got near it.
So if I don't deserve it then that makes me a victim and that's even more contemptible than being a depressed crazy fucker.
I do NOT feel depressed. I don't cry my eyes out at night or sit staring at a wall wishing Daddy, won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz. It's not that I want to and don't, it just doesn't matter. What I've told you all along is that I want to play something that doesn't suck. I don't believe that quest is hopeless. If I did I might buy this idea of depression. Fact is, tho ... I don't.
But, even if I am, so what. Going near shrinks is worse than going near dope dealers as they're guaranteed to addict you to something and they have way more toys than dope dealers, plus they're very much more pernicious (e.g. I can make you productive but you'll give up 25% of your mind through drugging to do it). Ritalin school kids are the perfect example of the amorality of the psychiatric profession. That's a bad answer.
So I shall continue although not tonight as timing rules have to be enforced. The plan is to be asleep for the night at midnight. If I need to take something to do that then I will as I'm very clear of the goal: break the vampire shift. This stands in the way of making a song that doesn't suck so it's seems pretty clear it's got to go.
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