Sunday, May 7, 2017

Sign You're in Texas: You Get Shot By an Armadillo


You can see right away he's ready and will easily get the draw on you.  There could be just about anything underneath that armor, besides the armadillo, I mean.

Army Armadillo:  so the question, cowboy, is do you feel lucky?  Well, do you ... punk?

Army Armadillo:  pfft.  I didn't think so.  I'm gone.

(starts walking away but feels something bounce off his armor)

Army Armadillo:  you fuckin' shot me in the back, cowboy.

(looks around)

Army Armadillo:  oh, gee, sucks to be you, doesn't it.

The Guardian:  Texas man hospitalized after bullet bounces off armadillo

A Texas man was hospitalized this week, after being hit in the head by a ricocheting bullet he had aimed at an armadillo.

The man decided to shoot the armadillo after seeing it on his property, near the 134-person east Texas town of Marietta, just before 3am on Thursday, Cass County sheriff’s officials said.

- Guardian


(Army Armadillo hears that and thinks at 3 am no way alcohol was involved in that decision to fire.  Starts laughing)

Army Armadillo:  say there, Brain Wave, do you see why we wear armor now?

(saunters away whistling "Yellow Rose of Texas" ... then finds one ... eats it)

Army Armadillo:  here's a little armadillo tip for when you get out of the hospital, Tex.   If you have nothing better to do on a Saturday night than get drunked-up and shoot armadillos, it's probably about time to review how you're managing your social schedule.

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