Tuesday, June 2, 2015

Dear Prudence

Dear Prudence,

God help me but I could not shake off a fantasy about covering my penis with peanut butter so it would be licked off by a dog.  Finally I gave into it as this was my dream and I had to know.  It turned out to be even better than I had hoped but the dog got excited by it too and nipped me.  Even so, I want to do it again, I need to do it again.  What should I do?

Signed - Shorty in Des Moines



Dear Shorty,

Grow a bigger penis or get a smaller dog.

Good luck,

Prudence


Note:  there really is a Dear Prudence and people send her hoax questions like that all the time or at least I hope they're hoaxes.  Sometimes the really ingenious ones will show up on Fark.


Dear Prudence,

Years ago I was in an abusive relationship with my father and a child resulted.  My son was taken away from me and I never saw him again.  Not long after I was freed, my father went to jail where he died without ever revealing what became of my son.  I went on to start my own family and had three beautiful daughters.  What I have now discovered is my daughter is dating my long-lost son and says she loves him.  My question is this:  do you think he is too old for her.

Signed - Clueless in Calgary


That's hardly an ingenious one but it's the kind of stuff that prints.  And people actually put real information on dating sites.  Whew.

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