The day has been mostly making the Reverend Sasquatch full trips video but that led to pulling in video from previous times for various demented reasons.
But the video from the previous times was nowhere to be found. I have searched relentlessly but there is still no trace of any of the Final Cut projects from prior to the cutover to Final Cut Pro from Final Cut 7. It's not clear why they disappeared or how that happened.
There is a partial resolution as I did find the capture files (i.e. the movie data captured from cameras) and this does include the Cincinnati show. That find alone is 380 GB so that moves this from a complete flaming disaster to a basic pain in the ass. (My data files are not scattered as their locations are precise. Backups go wherever there is space and that's how something can be 'found' rather than just going to wherever it is supposed to be.)
The video does trip. I'm the worst actor you will ever find the video flows logically, if badly-acted, from Reverend Silas falling asleep in his chair (i.e. passing out from reefer) and then going into dreams. It actually looks fairly cool. I wanted more clips for it for, well, clips for trips and when I couldn't find them that worked well for dropping my jaw. No Fucking Way.
The latest remix for "It's for You" definitely kicks all ass over any previous. I dropped the levels on everything to zero and started over on it. There is a high probability I will jigger with it further as it's all digital so the length won't change.
There was a short set at the MusikCircus tonight as Ret and Verge were hanging out and Eepz showed up wanting some music so ... what was I to do, right. I knew I could go 10-15 minutes and that would be good to show I ain't dead yet and I don't done tryin'.
The show went between 30-45 minutes but I was flat demolished at the end of it. I needed everything just to do a graceful exit and lie down. I've never been so exhausted. It was like my brain was lit but my body was absent and that was some powerfully weird shit. I wasn't that high as I was playing ... you can't even smoke cigarettes.
There was two hours or so of sleep and then awake again. That cycle repeats over and over. Right now there is a lot of dizziness, a lot more than usual. I didn't think to video when I played but you would freak if you saw it as there were multiple times I nearly went down. I have a lot of trouble keeping my balance. I don't see it would do you any favor to broadcast that video but I will try to capture one and see if it is suitable for viewing. I don't want to be a freakshow. If I can't hack it then I can't fookin' hack it.
Maybe you're right about the depression as I have an extremely difficult time making myself eat. Even if I have any money the thinking is don't spend it or you won't have it when you're really, really fucked. I know it's fucking me up doing this but a big part of the battle on one side is Facebook with people who use cancer as a battle weapon in public chat. They're trivial except insofar as there is the weight of the number of such people.
But.
There are very good ones in there and I would miss them if I did not see them at least once in a while.
So.
It's more complicated than just saying, well, fuck it ... don't use it anymore. Keeping Facebook Soul Vampires away is exceptionally difficult and I deliberately piss them off as much as I can as some will know why I do it and the rest will run for their lives. That helps somewhat but overall I see 'all the lonely people' and it just depresses the living hell out of me. They all live in Disneyland and have no idea how to find the Magic Kingdom. These fuckers make Hollywood tinsel look like bleedin' platinum.
I don't think I'm lonely as I've always been a hermit, it's why I work at night ... zero interruptions. That's been my preference, generally, forever. It's also incredibly destructive ... but it is the bar none best time for music, video, programming, generally all of the things I do. For me, music in the daytime is like Disneyland with the machines turned off. Sometimes it can work in a really good outdoor show but there has to be tremendous coolness to it and you probably have to be pretty stoned.
There is a massive battle over the world is a complete piece of shit and so are many of the people in it and, relax, none of it means anything anyway. This is a life and death slugfest and right now I'm losing. It's not a whine but a status report as things are very strange just now.
Please understand this is not whining. I do not understand what is happening nor why I would want to destroy myself. It has nothing to do with the reefer as I spent about ten years without ever smoking anything ... and made a series of the absolute worst decisions of my life. I could crash a Harley every day of the week and not match the catastrophe to my life of that time. Reefer is good in dealing with this time. There is no chance it is making it worse except insofar as any lung impact which is not terribly high. I take a couple of hits off a pipe every so often and that's it. Cigarettes always were the destroyers.
In fact, the most destructive aspect of the Army experience, soul-destroying vibe that it was, was all straight. After I had been in for a while, I was using more dope than I ever did. It went that way with a lot of people. It's never been my experience that being 'straight' serves any good purpose except for cops and librarians. Maybe it's best if the doctor isn't hitttin' it but he's got the whole fookin' candy jar in easy reach.
Tip: it's shit candy. Don't screw with it.
This dizzy stuff is very strange. I will update in some hours.
But the video from the previous times was nowhere to be found. I have searched relentlessly but there is still no trace of any of the Final Cut projects from prior to the cutover to Final Cut Pro from Final Cut 7. It's not clear why they disappeared or how that happened.
There is a partial resolution as I did find the capture files (i.e. the movie data captured from cameras) and this does include the Cincinnati show. That find alone is 380 GB so that moves this from a complete flaming disaster to a basic pain in the ass. (My data files are not scattered as their locations are precise. Backups go wherever there is space and that's how something can be 'found' rather than just going to wherever it is supposed to be.)
The video does trip. I'm the worst actor you will ever find the video flows logically, if badly-acted, from Reverend Silas falling asleep in his chair (i.e. passing out from reefer) and then going into dreams. It actually looks fairly cool. I wanted more clips for it for, well, clips for trips and when I couldn't find them that worked well for dropping my jaw. No Fucking Way.
The latest remix for "It's for You" definitely kicks all ass over any previous. I dropped the levels on everything to zero and started over on it. There is a high probability I will jigger with it further as it's all digital so the length won't change.
There was a short set at the MusikCircus tonight as Ret and Verge were hanging out and Eepz showed up wanting some music so ... what was I to do, right. I knew I could go 10-15 minutes and that would be good to show I ain't dead yet and I don't done tryin'.
The show went between 30-45 minutes but I was flat demolished at the end of it. I needed everything just to do a graceful exit and lie down. I've never been so exhausted. It was like my brain was lit but my body was absent and that was some powerfully weird shit. I wasn't that high as I was playing ... you can't even smoke cigarettes.
There was two hours or so of sleep and then awake again. That cycle repeats over and over. Right now there is a lot of dizziness, a lot more than usual. I didn't think to video when I played but you would freak if you saw it as there were multiple times I nearly went down. I have a lot of trouble keeping my balance. I don't see it would do you any favor to broadcast that video but I will try to capture one and see if it is suitable for viewing. I don't want to be a freakshow. If I can't hack it then I can't fookin' hack it.
Maybe you're right about the depression as I have an extremely difficult time making myself eat. Even if I have any money the thinking is don't spend it or you won't have it when you're really, really fucked. I know it's fucking me up doing this but a big part of the battle on one side is Facebook with people who use cancer as a battle weapon in public chat. They're trivial except insofar as there is the weight of the number of such people.
But.
There are very good ones in there and I would miss them if I did not see them at least once in a while.
So.
It's more complicated than just saying, well, fuck it ... don't use it anymore. Keeping Facebook Soul Vampires away is exceptionally difficult and I deliberately piss them off as much as I can as some will know why I do it and the rest will run for their lives. That helps somewhat but overall I see 'all the lonely people' and it just depresses the living hell out of me. They all live in Disneyland and have no idea how to find the Magic Kingdom. These fuckers make Hollywood tinsel look like bleedin' platinum.
I don't think I'm lonely as I've always been a hermit, it's why I work at night ... zero interruptions. That's been my preference, generally, forever. It's also incredibly destructive ... but it is the bar none best time for music, video, programming, generally all of the things I do. For me, music in the daytime is like Disneyland with the machines turned off. Sometimes it can work in a really good outdoor show but there has to be tremendous coolness to it and you probably have to be pretty stoned.
There is a massive battle over the world is a complete piece of shit and so are many of the people in it and, relax, none of it means anything anyway. This is a life and death slugfest and right now I'm losing. It's not a whine but a status report as things are very strange just now.
Please understand this is not whining. I do not understand what is happening nor why I would want to destroy myself. It has nothing to do with the reefer as I spent about ten years without ever smoking anything ... and made a series of the absolute worst decisions of my life. I could crash a Harley every day of the week and not match the catastrophe to my life of that time. Reefer is good in dealing with this time. There is no chance it is making it worse except insofar as any lung impact which is not terribly high. I take a couple of hits off a pipe every so often and that's it. Cigarettes always were the destroyers.
In fact, the most destructive aspect of the Army experience, soul-destroying vibe that it was, was all straight. After I had been in for a while, I was using more dope than I ever did. It went that way with a lot of people. It's never been my experience that being 'straight' serves any good purpose except for cops and librarians. Maybe it's best if the doctor isn't hitttin' it but he's got the whole fookin' candy jar in easy reach.
Tip: it's shit candy. Don't screw with it.
This dizzy stuff is very strange. I will update in some hours.
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