"It's a Wonderful Life" is supposed to be the Numero Uno Christmas movie but that old cranker is as boring as watching a cricket match. Conversely, "Die Hard" flicks are classified by some as Christmas movies but they don't fall into that category just because they coincidentally happen at Christmas time. Maybe it's just me but I don't see a lot of Yuletide in a brutal robbery of the Nakashomi Tower.
There are various criteria to use for the Best of Christmas Movies:
- Music MUST NOT SUCK.
- Must not have McCauley Culkin (e.g. "Home Alone"), Will Ferrell (whatever he does), or Bruce Willis ("Die Hard" series) or Bing Crosby (just because he is annoying) in it.
- Cannot be so sweet that you risk cardiac or some other horrible type of health problems caused by sugar oozing from every pore.
- Must not be B&W unless it was shot before 1940.
- Must not be from before 1940 unless it has Alastair Sims in it. (He might spell it correctly as 'Alistair' ... unclear)
- Nobody dies
Mystery Lady mentioned "Mixed Nuts" with Steve Martin but he's a highly mixed nut in any case. It must be frustrating for him as people tend to polarize with him whereas with most performers people may like this or that but won't treat the artist's entire portfolio as one entity.
The list of movies is still changing as "The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas" is more a musical than a movie so it was moved to its own list. The ones that meet the criteria are few but give some great Christmas.
That leaves the
List of Christmas Movies That Don't Suck:
1 - "Love Actually" - Kleenex: medium
2 - "Scrooged" - Kleenex: high
3 - "Trading Places" - Kleenex: zero
4 - "Bad Santa" - Kleenex: medium
Honorable Mention for "Mixed Nuts" even though I have not seen it.
List of Christmas Musical Movies That Don't Suck:
1 - "The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas" - Kleenex: high
Note: "Trading Places" gets into the list for the same reason as "Die Hard," it just happens to be set during Christmas time. However, any Christmas movie that gives a hint of Jamie Lee Curtis' beautiful self and most deliciously shapely body gets big points with me. When she pulls off that hooker wig and shakes out her hair, if your reaction is not DAYUM, she is one beautiful woman, then I have a pro tip for you: yer blood ain't movin', son.
(Ed: these movies are almost all useless for kids)
Right you are but put a DVD into a player and kids will watch the same one for twelve hours, entertained just the same each time through. That gives you time to find something you want to watch and hence the list.
There are various criteria to use for the Best of Christmas Movies:
- Music MUST NOT SUCK.
- Must not have McCauley Culkin (e.g. "Home Alone"), Will Ferrell (whatever he does), or Bruce Willis ("Die Hard" series) or Bing Crosby (just because he is annoying) in it.
- Cannot be so sweet that you risk cardiac or some other horrible type of health problems caused by sugar oozing from every pore.
- Must not be B&W unless it was shot before 1940.
- Must not be from before 1940 unless it has Alastair Sims in it. (He might spell it correctly as 'Alistair' ... unclear)
- Nobody dies
Mystery Lady mentioned "Mixed Nuts" with Steve Martin but he's a highly mixed nut in any case. It must be frustrating for him as people tend to polarize with him whereas with most performers people may like this or that but won't treat the artist's entire portfolio as one entity.
The list of movies is still changing as "The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas" is more a musical than a movie so it was moved to its own list. The ones that meet the criteria are few but give some great Christmas.
That leaves the
List of Christmas Movies That Don't Suck:
1 - "Love Actually" - Kleenex: medium
2 - "Scrooged" - Kleenex: high
3 - "Trading Places" - Kleenex: zero
4 - "Bad Santa" - Kleenex: medium
Honorable Mention for "Mixed Nuts" even though I have not seen it.
List of Christmas Musical Movies That Don't Suck:
1 - "The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas" - Kleenex: high
Note: "Trading Places" gets into the list for the same reason as "Die Hard," it just happens to be set during Christmas time. However, any Christmas movie that gives a hint of Jamie Lee Curtis' beautiful self and most deliciously shapely body gets big points with me. When she pulls off that hooker wig and shakes out her hair, if your reaction is not DAYUM, she is one beautiful woman, then I have a pro tip for you: yer blood ain't movin', son.
(Ed: these movies are almost all useless for kids)
Right you are but put a DVD into a player and kids will watch the same one for twelve hours, entertained just the same each time through. That gives you time to find something you want to watch and hence the list.
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