There were some, well, one anyway, who did not think the ending of "The Tiger and the Monkey" poem was quite satisfactory as it was definitely a Walt Disney fade into the sunset with all the happy animals thing.
So here are some alternative endings:
The Kafka in the Jungle ending
This one sucks as no way Jethro Tull would go near it. The Tiger thinks about it for five hundred pages then eats the Monkey and says, fuck it, we all die anyway.
The neo-Kafka / Shakespeare ending
The Tiger eats the Monkey and then suffers tremendous remorse and guilt and then kills himself. Without Franco Zeffirelli shooting the movie, this one has no chance. Besides, roses don't bloom in the jungle. (Give yourself ten trivia points if you have any idea why those comments have relevance. See below.)
The Quentin Tarantino ending
The Monkey kills the Tiger with a samurai sword because of all the monkeys it has eaten before. Then the Monkey kills everyone who saw it happen. Could work but I don't see myself doing a surf-rock soundtrack that Tarantino would like.
The Shirley Temple ending
Everyone smiles and lives happily ever after. So this is the one I chose. Hey, man, it's Christmas!
So here are some alternative endings:
The Kafka in the Jungle ending
This one sucks as no way Jethro Tull would go near it. The Tiger thinks about it for five hundred pages then eats the Monkey and says, fuck it, we all die anyway.
The neo-Kafka / Shakespeare ending
The Tiger eats the Monkey and then suffers tremendous remorse and guilt and then kills himself. Without Franco Zeffirelli shooting the movie, this one has no chance. Besides, roses don't bloom in the jungle. (Give yourself ten trivia points if you have any idea why those comments have relevance. See below.)
The Quentin Tarantino ending
The Monkey kills the Tiger with a samurai sword because of all the monkeys it has eaten before. Then the Monkey kills everyone who saw it happen. Could work but I don't see myself doing a surf-rock soundtrack that Tarantino would like.
The Shirley Temple ending
Everyone smiles and lives happily ever after. So this is the one I chose. Hey, man, it's Christmas!
On the trivia references
Jethro Tull did a song called "Bungle in the Jungle" on their War Child album.
Franco Zeffirelli shot a lush and gorgeous version of "Romeo and Juliet" in 1968 and it featured a theme song of "What Is a Youth" which had brilliant, almost Shakespearean, lyrics about how a rose will bloom. It's an incredibly beautiful song.
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