There was never a Silas Texas Burger before now because I really don't like burgers all that much. If I'm going to go to the trouble of cooking then I want something good like Indian or Chinese.
(Ed: are you seriously saving you have never fried a burger before?)
Dat's a fack, Jack.
Here's another newsflash: I've never fried a steak either. I figured, what the hell, you can get a steak anywhere. Besides, on this budget it's not a problem anyway. There won't be a steak fry (sob) anytime soon.
I looked up the basic burger mix as I knew about the egg in a pound of burger but what else. It also said you need 1/4 teaspoon of pepper. OK, got that. Pepper is always good. Then it wants 1/4 teaspoon of salt. That ain't happening. Salt is only for people who don't want to taste the food. The kicker was that it said I need a 1/4 cup of bread crumbs.
There are no bread crumbs here. It's a treat that there is even the burger meat.
So then I thought, hmm, what works like bread crumbs. Then I found an old bag of cheese and garlic croutons. Close enough, yes? Right you are and I ground them up. Presto, bread crumbs ... sort of.
Tip: when you're poor, food expiration dates don't stay quite as interesting as they once were. If it's there and it doesn't smell like it's gone off then you can eat it. That worked fine for caveman ... although, admittedly, not so well for Neandertals. Eventually this became a law in Leviticus so now no-one pays attention to it.
But this mix will only make a burger which tastes like all the other burgers which I know already are total suck sandwiches (unless they come from Kincaid's or Johnny Rocket's).
So.
A tablespoon of dried, shredded onion. Yep, can't go wrong with onion.
But onion isn't enough without it's One True Love: garlic. So I figured half a teaspoon or so of minced garlic.
It didn't occur to me to use the Wooster sauce (it's spelled Worcestershire but English say 'wooster'). That could have given it a savory lift and a bit of Cholula hot sauce would have been a good addition as well.
Even so, not a bad burger. My record still stands at only one meal I cooked that was so bad I wouldn't eat it. (Admittedly, my standards are very low.)
The final test is I couldn't finish it as I don't hold all that much these days so the other half went to Tobey the Dog. If he doesn't die then I'll pronounce it fit to eat and then I'll go on to find what Texans think of it.
(Brief pause to see if Tobey the Dog has his paws in the air outside.)
I can cheerfully report Tobey the Dog remains a non-deceased canine and he did eat all of it. Either it will take longer to kill him ... and me ... or the burger mix is pronounced healthy. Tobey the Dog's standards for culinary excellence are about the same as mine (i.e. low) so we share lots of meals and have about equal enthusiasm for them.
(Ed: are you seriously saving you have never fried a burger before?)
Dat's a fack, Jack.
Here's another newsflash: I've never fried a steak either. I figured, what the hell, you can get a steak anywhere. Besides, on this budget it's not a problem anyway. There won't be a steak fry (sob) anytime soon.
I looked up the basic burger mix as I knew about the egg in a pound of burger but what else. It also said you need 1/4 teaspoon of pepper. OK, got that. Pepper is always good. Then it wants 1/4 teaspoon of salt. That ain't happening. Salt is only for people who don't want to taste the food. The kicker was that it said I need a 1/4 cup of bread crumbs.
There are no bread crumbs here. It's a treat that there is even the burger meat.
So then I thought, hmm, what works like bread crumbs. Then I found an old bag of cheese and garlic croutons. Close enough, yes? Right you are and I ground them up. Presto, bread crumbs ... sort of.
Tip: when you're poor, food expiration dates don't stay quite as interesting as they once were. If it's there and it doesn't smell like it's gone off then you can eat it. That worked fine for caveman ... although, admittedly, not so well for Neandertals. Eventually this became a law in Leviticus so now no-one pays attention to it.
But this mix will only make a burger which tastes like all the other burgers which I know already are total suck sandwiches (unless they come from Kincaid's or Johnny Rocket's).
So.
A tablespoon of dried, shredded onion. Yep, can't go wrong with onion.
But onion isn't enough without it's One True Love: garlic. So I figured half a teaspoon or so of minced garlic.
It didn't occur to me to use the Wooster sauce (it's spelled Worcestershire but English say 'wooster'). That could have given it a savory lift and a bit of Cholula hot sauce would have been a good addition as well.
Even so, not a bad burger. My record still stands at only one meal I cooked that was so bad I wouldn't eat it. (Admittedly, my standards are very low.)
The final test is I couldn't finish it as I don't hold all that much these days so the other half went to Tobey the Dog. If he doesn't die then I'll pronounce it fit to eat and then I'll go on to find what Texans think of it.
(Brief pause to see if Tobey the Dog has his paws in the air outside.)
I can cheerfully report Tobey the Dog remains a non-deceased canine and he did eat all of it. Either it will take longer to kill him ... and me ... or the burger mix is pronounced healthy. Tobey the Dog's standards for culinary excellence are about the same as mine (i.e. low) so we share lots of meals and have about equal enthusiasm for them.
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