There are multiple claims of the 'real' Touchdown Jesus so we have one task in front of us, determine which one is Jesus and which one is a Mormon pretending to be Jesus.
Cincinnati had its Touchdown Jesus at the Church of Incredible Tastelessness on I-75. God didn't like tasteless Touchdown Jesus too much and burned his holy ass up with lightning. Two years later they replaced him with an even bigger one but they were (cough) smarter this time and built him out of concrete. Apparently the thinking is that Jesus can tolerate pigeon shit better than lightning. Time will tell.
However.
Notre Dame has its own Touchdown Jesus and they claim he is the 'real' Touchdown Jesus because they had him first. Well, that is certainly a valid argument but we will have to determine for ourselves if this Touchdown Jesus is authentically real, artificially real (i.e. most government projects), or doesn't exist at all (i.e. all NSA projects).
From our extensive research here at the Ministry of the Internet, we have verified that, in fact, there is a representation of a Touchdown Jesus at Notre Dame (UHND: Touchdown Jesus & The Nation’s Largest College Library)
Notre Dame's Touchdown Jesus is painted on a building, like graffiti, like a spray-painted gang sign, albeit a derivative Dalinesque / Cubist monstrosity of modern art that has, incredibly, surpassed even the Church of Incredible Tastelessness in the vacuum of artfulness; it's so tasteless that it actually draws artfulness from elsewhere ... just to destroy it.
Thus
Here at the Ministry of the Internet, we have ruled both Touchdown Jesus implementations are shabby and offensive fakes. If you want to portray Jesus, hire the cat who really knew how to paint him: Dali.
Example: "Columbus Discovering America"
Maybe you say that's not Touchdown Jesus. Maybe you say he isn't Jesus at all.
Oh really.
In the estimation of the Ministry of the Internet, this man risking his life to pull the ship of state to the safety of shore may already know he will pay with his life, he already has. He has succeeded in that task and this is considerably more of a Touchdown than we saw from either of the charlatans posing elsewhere.
Cincinnati and Notre Dame can sit back happy and content with Touchdown Jesus, Tapioca Jesus or whatever they call them but, here at the Ministry of the Internet, we'll go with this one.
Cincinnati had its Touchdown Jesus at the Church of Incredible Tastelessness on I-75. God didn't like tasteless Touchdown Jesus too much and burned his holy ass up with lightning. Two years later they replaced him with an even bigger one but they were (cough) smarter this time and built him out of concrete. Apparently the thinking is that Jesus can tolerate pigeon shit better than lightning. Time will tell.
However.
Notre Dame has its own Touchdown Jesus and they claim he is the 'real' Touchdown Jesus because they had him first. Well, that is certainly a valid argument but we will have to determine for ourselves if this Touchdown Jesus is authentically real, artificially real (i.e. most government projects), or doesn't exist at all (i.e. all NSA projects).
From our extensive research here at the Ministry of the Internet, we have verified that, in fact, there is a representation of a Touchdown Jesus at Notre Dame (UHND: Touchdown Jesus & The Nation’s Largest College Library)
Notre Dame's Touchdown Jesus is painted on a building, like graffiti, like a spray-painted gang sign, albeit a derivative Dalinesque / Cubist monstrosity of modern art that has, incredibly, surpassed even the Church of Incredible Tastelessness in the vacuum of artfulness; it's so tasteless that it actually draws artfulness from elsewhere ... just to destroy it.
Thus
Here at the Ministry of the Internet, we have ruled both Touchdown Jesus implementations are shabby and offensive fakes. If you want to portray Jesus, hire the cat who really knew how to paint him: Dali.
Example: "Columbus Discovering America"
Maybe you say that's not Touchdown Jesus. Maybe you say he isn't Jesus at all.
Oh really.
In the estimation of the Ministry of the Internet, this man risking his life to pull the ship of state to the safety of shore may already know he will pay with his life, he already has. He has succeeded in that task and this is considerably more of a Touchdown than we saw from either of the charlatans posing elsewhere.
Cincinnati and Notre Dame can sit back happy and content with Touchdown Jesus, Tapioca Jesus or whatever they call them but, here at the Ministry of the Internet, we'll go with this one.
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