Friday, July 14, 2017

Addressing the Ecological Disasters of Hipsters and Cane Toads #Science #Environment

As we have painfully endured, introducing hipsters to the American environment was one of the worst things for it since they only decry fracking when Republicans do it, no civilian ever gets killed in a war Democrats are running, and Big Pharma is only a problem when Republicans are in power.  We don't know or care what damaged that subspecies of humans as the only question for most people is how to get rid of everyone in that cohort, regardless of political affiliation.

There was a similar ecological disaster in Australia into which environment cane toads were introduced from Nicaragua.  The original logic was the cane toad would serve as a predator to control other pest animals but the toad was only effective in reproducing itself in such enormous numbers they became one of Australia's worst problems with invasive creatures.

Plus there's a beauty part insofar as there's some type of psychoactive substance in the skin of cane toads so some in Australia tried it and reported tripping on it.

Tip:  if the only way you can go trippin' is by licking a toad, you probably shouldn't be trippin' at all, Carlos Castaneda.

However, those crafty Australians came up with a Pied Piper of Salientian Sex Dreams and cane toads will follow him, much to their later regret.  (  A hit love song for toads)

Note:  salientian is a word for those who like language which may confuse / annoy others and it means toads.  When you can turn a one-syllable word into a five-syllable word, you are well on your way to obfuscatory oratorical orgasm ... if such is your pleasure, of course.

James Cook University researchers in Australia say they now know exactly what makes horny cane toads boogie. And the toad tune could help sound the death knell for the pests.

JCU's Ben Muller placed cane toad 'audio traps' with differing characteristics at various sites in the Townsville, Queensland, region.

"We varied the sound they were playing to have different combinations of volume, frequency and pulse rate," he said.

The team were particularly interested in attracting reproductive female toads (those carrying eggs).

- PO

Note:  we must admonish Herr Doktor Muller since his toad music may do many things but we're reasonably sure it does not make toads boogie woogie.

Ed:  they could probably hip hop!

Insofar as hip hop is sometimes known as screw music, you may be missing the point, Dagwood.

Ed:  where?

Houston, for one.  The Rockhouse hasn't followed it since we have heard screw music before but hip hop usually has a better beat than the BeeGees.

"A female cane toad may lay upwards of 20,000 eggs per clutch so removing a single female with eggs from the population is more effective for control than removing a single male," said Mr Muller.

He said that male cane toads did not appear to care what variation of volume, frequency and pulse rate were used, but female toads were much choosier.

"We found we could manipulate the proportion of females, and reproductive females, that we trapped by changing the calls used as lures."

The scientists found that approximately 91% of the females trapped using a loud, low frequency tone with a high pulse rate were reproductive.

- PO

Hot damn!  This kit attracts females faster than the Brad Pitt of the Bonobo Apes.  (Ithaka: Bonobos Will Treat You Right and Not Like those Damn Chimpanzees #Science #Ethology #Sex)

The budding musician can learn something from luring cane toads since the research has gleaned which tones are most attractive to females.

"We think that low frequency calls indicate to female toads that they are hearing a large-bodied male and the high pulse rate means the male making the call has high energy reserves. These things combine to make them believe they have found a good breeding partner," he said.

- PO

Ed:  there's nothing in there about divas!

Divas don't make any creatures want to reproduce but rather it makes them never want to reproduce again.  However, we don't care what attracts divas since we don't want them anyway and the females which are attracted by the deep bass with a high pulse are prime reproductive creatures, something which divas decidedly are not.

Mr Muller said the finding may help suppress toad numbers, but it was not a silver bullet.

- PO

The Rockhouse has tried and tried and implored and cajoled scientists to be more careful with their language but we see their lackadaisical ways demonstrated once again.

Tip to Herr Doktor Muller:  trying to kill a cane toad with a silver bullet is about as ludicrous as sending Dick Cheney out to hunt for dinner.

"Large-scale eradication of cane toads from mainland Australia using traps is probably not possible; however, eradication of island populations could be achievable if the trapping regime was correctly designed and implemented," he said.

- PO

While the good doktor is not so optimistic about solving the problem on a large scale, being able to clean up islands is excellent since the organismal diversity in Australia is extraordinary and islands may host unique species.  Therefore, anything which pushes cane toads back out of such environments is excellent news.

The good doktor is not thinking far enough, however, since Australia, thankfully, hasn't given the world so many divas but it did give us AC/DC.

Ed:  you're thinking Toad Woodstock?

Actually we were thinking of the Salientian Woodstock since toads are like many voters and do understand some one-syllable words.

See, the way we do it is lose that awful singer and the guitarist is crazy cool but he's got to go too.  We only need the drums and the bass from AC/DC plus a shitload of amplification and we will be ready for the Salientian Woodstock.

Ed:  so we can nuke it from orbit?

It's the only way to be sure.

Ref:  "Aliens"

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