Wednesday, July 26, 2017

#News on a Nailhead 7/27

If you're wondering who is dumb ass enough to lose a $150K earring while swimming in a lake, meet Julio Jones.  (CNN:  Julio Jones Hires Dive Team to Locate $150K Earring Lost in Lake Lanier)

Note:  now he pays likely a few tens of thousands more and still doesn't have it so we only hope this genius is not the quarterback of the team.

More collusion, confusion, exclusion, and delusion on MSM ContraReality TV.  (Fox News:  Trump’s not alone: Congress digging into DNC-Ukraine connection)

Note:  we can't wait until they try to discover what's really in Cheese Whiz.

I only need to say Topless Road Rage and you're already on your way to see it.  (Fox News:  Massachusetts woman arrested after topless road rage attack, cops say)

Bonus:  another link with a groovy pic (NY Post:  Woman accused of drunken, topless road-rage assault)

Woman discovers Heaven is really in Google Earth.  Yes, she's in Florida.  (Daily Mail: Daughter who moved to Florida gets the 'biggest surprise ever' after she spots her dead mother watering the plants outside her UK home on Google Earth)

When a sex robot is called a game changer, what game is it changing when sex stays about the same.  (NY Post:  Talking and singing sex robot deemed a ‘game changer’)

She had fun, fun, fun until the flatfoots took Granny's Porsche Boxster away.  (Fox News:  79-year-old woman caught going 149 mph in Porsche Boxster said she 'needed to clear [her] head')

Tip to Granny: there's nothing in your head but rocks.

When you're looking for God in a strip club, you know you must be in Alabama.  (WHNT:  Refuge Church purchases former strip club, plans to renovate it into a sanctuary and community center)

Further proof Brits really don't get it about Europe, especially that women have breasts.  (Daily Mail:  Boris Becker's topless wife Lilly puts on a VERY brazen display at the beach as she holidays in Ibiza without her husband again amid 'marriage woes')

Note:  inasmuch as Spain is one of the few countries which will still admit Brit tourists, perhaps they should be aware sunning one's mammaries en flagrente delicto is not considered unusual.  Conversely, Brits are considered extremely unusual.

When there are snakes in your potato chips you might consider switching to a different store for your shopping except when they are King Cobras since that means you're probably already dead.  (Washington Post:  Man accused of smuggling king cobras in potato chip cans)

Tip:  there's more than one perp and they trafficked many exotic animals, quite a few of which died.  You will probably hate them.

Caitlyn Jenner was in the news for some damn thing but that only means there was no other news to report and the pound didn't even catch a dog.

Donald Trump had a little fun triggering Centrists earlier by banning transgender from the military.  (The Guardian:  Donald Trump says US military will not allow transgender people to serve)

Note:  Centrists were strongly triggered (i.e. went apeshit) while liberals sat on the sidelines thinking, "if he ever gives them Pop Rocks most of them will explode."

The Rockhouse doesn't regard Rachel Maddow as any more than a psychotic Ronald McDonald with glasses and Jimmy Dore does a bit about her.  (YouTube:  Rachel Maddow Has Lost Her Mind and People Are Noticing)

Note:  she makes me feel so Yankee Doodle Randy.

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