Oh Melania - the ongoing contest to make this the most inconsequential election ever
Tips - how to be a Stepford Wife, the finest kind of First Lady
Yakkety Yak - a whole lot of talking but of the interesting variety, unlike TV yak shows
More Love - vampire love, the kind you can believe
The Crash - flip-flopping for Clinton due to the absence of any semblance of a spine
Carlsbad - possible mission targets for the bats, the bats
Dream Dates - more possible mission targets
Haggling - the comedy in the idea Trump is more dangerous than Clinton
Silas - the set from Monday night
Mediterranean - serving as chum for sharks is the highest function most voters could serve
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