Saturday, July 16, 2016

Things We Know About Hell

Burning is nothing compared to what really happens in Hell.

There's much worse than that:

-  Hell has marching bands which never ever stop

-  The fans of One Direction are all in Hell and all of them are crying ... all the time ... no-one knows why and no-one is interested enough to ask

-  The new ones whine incessantly because their iPhones won't connect to anything and maybe that's why One Direction fans cry ... they want to talk to someone, it's just not you

-  George Bush's paintings are all over the place

-  The only movie is of a NAZI rally from 1936 and all just bitch because they have already seen it

-  After the NAZI rally movie, the only thing on TV is an endless stream guitar tutorials from some asshole who wants to teach how to play "Stairway to Heaven"

-  The entertainment is a bunch of drunkie transgenders as a choir of impersonators doing Megyn Kelly sings old Negro spirituals

-  There is constant nagging from Bill O'Reilly to do more calisthenics but no-one listens to him in Hell either and no-one does calisthenics anyway

-  There is only one real telephone ... and it never stops ringing

-  Wannabe celebrities are all over the place being photographed for nude shots but none of them show the nips because they know nip shots will get banned on the social networks because of Mark Zuckerberg's nipple terror

-  Someone never stops randomly bouncing a basketball and, no matter how many times he does it, he never achieves any kind of rhythm in the bounces but it can be amusing to watch them since sometimes they spontaneously catch fire because Legba hates basketball players too

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