Monday, July 21, 2014

Psychosomatic or So?

The idea that the recent events are not psychosomatic and due to stress over every little thing is not something I exclude but I don't think the probability is high.  Your mind is easily demented enough to create symptoms but I never experienced that previously except in terms of the wheezing with asthma as that can be induced in many ways.  (I was getting adrenaline shots for asthma when I was eighteen-months-old.  I know the material.)

In fact, that may have been part of why I didn't want children as I tried to imagine what that was like for my parents to see their brand-new little meat thing gasping for air.  I guess I was scaring the hell out of them most of my life, now that I think about it.  I always forget that it's scarier to watch someone doing something scary than it is to actually do it.  Maybe you're terrified of riding a Harley but it's easy.  You don't have to lift it, you only have to balance it.  Yah, it's true that you can get hit by cars and I did get hit by a couple of them but, wtf, they didn't kill me (laughs).

Addition to Exclusion List:  David Bannion of Cincinnati.  He's the guy who ran me down the worst and never even sent a get well card.  Say there, Dave, buddy.  Fuck yourself.  I hope your penis falls off but I'm guessing you probably never had one.

Your mind is very clever on fooling itself about illness but I don't think this is in that category.  I don't want to list symptoms as that business is disgusting and probably would not be helpful.

Some have thought I've been spinning things negatively here on the blog but actually it's the other way around, that I've been telling it the best I can rather than the worst.  There's a whole lot of physical stuff I leave out.  I believe my reasoning is rational and anyone who ever even walked past a marijuana shop knows that being stoned doesn't change a thing.  If it were LSD then my testimony might be a little less credible but reefer just makes me cough mostly so I'm not that stoned anyway.

I have been trying a vape for reefer but it hasn't been quite the solution people have said.  At times it's smoother and at times it hits like a Mack Truck, one of the few vehicles that has not run me over in my life.  Finally I can experience that sensation.

The vape is a Silver Surfer which is a good one that permits vaping natural leaf rather than some obnoxious compound.  My results have been varied so read more reviews to discover its nature for yourself.

The latest world news is that I did manage a bit of chicken broth earlier.  It's slow getting some strength but things improve.  Some weakness is to be expected, it's four days since I ate anything.

It's not my purpose to make anyone feel bad, it's all just unusual.  I'm the oldest so I'm supposed to spew this stuff so the young 'uns have some idea what to expect.  The weirdest is that I feel very much the observer in "Flowers for Algernon."

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