Monday, July 28, 2014

Ted Nugent Says Viagra Helps Him Rock Hard

Ted Nugent was canceled for a concert in a casino and that's unfortunate as we haven't heard of him playing anywhere else in quite some time.  The basis for the cancelation was, well, being an asshole.  He's also a certifiable moron to be spouting racist crap before trying to play at a casino owned by native Americans.

The cancelation of the concert has created a substantial cash flow problem and now Fox News has a helpful solution:  Ted Nugent Viagra Infomercials

Nugent has been playing the same guitar lick from "Stranglehold" for the last forty years and he tells you it's the greatest guitar lick there ever was.  From his standpoint that's true as apparently it's the only one he knows.

But Nugent wasn't strangling anything recently, particularly chickens, as he found his rock had turned to schlock.  Everywhere he went people laughed ... but at Fox News they gave him a home.  They gave him love.  They gave him Viagra.

You can tune in to watch the Ted Nugent Viagra Infomercial at 2:00 a.m. EDT US and you can listen in limitless fascination as Ted discusses his penis for sixty full, pulsating, throbbing minutes.

There are big plans for this infomercial as Ted Nugent hopes to invite friends to join him, friends like Wayne Bobbitt, Ted Cruz, and Sarah Palin, all of whom can talk about their penises all night long.

Feel some of Ted's Viagra Love now:

You ran the night that you left me
You put me in my place
I got you in a stranglehold, baby
That night I crushed your face


Ted, oh, Ted.  Do me, Doggy Daddy!

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