When no-one competent or qualified is available to speak, call Callista Gingrich. (ABC: Callista Gingrich casts Trump as guardian of the environment)
When an idiot director gets you killed by filming on a train trestle without permission, do the obvious thing: sue the CBX train. (AJC: Jury awards $11.2 million after fatal injury on Georgia film set)
Creationists are at their funky best when they slam Flat-Earthers for stupidity. (RawStory: Creationists mock flat earthers by insisting no one ‘really believes the Bible’s completely literal’)
There are many ways to look like a dork in America but wearing Google Glass is always the most effective. (Phys.org: Google Glass reborn for the workplace)
Speaking of looking like a dork ...
A blue Dover shirt and khaki Dockers slacks are sure signs you have no future and you know it. (Charlotte Agenda: Charlotte men, drop the blue shirts and khaki pants. It’s not 1995 anymore.)
There seems to be confusion regarding who failed with Mitch McConnell's health plan. The hair flip with the petulant stamp of the foot made for some good theater, tho. (The Guardian: ‘Let Obamacare fail’: Donald Trump lays out healthcare plan – video)
Thanks and enjoy the after-dinner mints when they throw your murderous ass in jail. (The Guardian: Minneapolis officer who allegedly shot Justine Damond offers condolences)
What kind of loser of a thief steals cheese? (The Guardian: No whey! Cheesemaker offers £500 reward after theft of prizewinning cheddars)
Note: as to 'no whey,' that's a real cracker in England.
Here's helpful advice on how to patriotically kowtow and it comes from the Dog Killer. (The Guardian: Michael Vick's tip for Colin Kaepernick: get a haircut and be 'presentable')
What say we just dump people off medical care without any consideration at all. We will pretend we don't hear Paul Ryan's Presidential plans stinkfarting into oblivion. (The Guardian: Senate will vote to repeal Obamacare without replacement, after new healthcare bill stumbles)
Note: it was comical to see Paul Ryan running away from it once it started tanking again.
It was time to talk of universal health care a year ago but The Guardian tried to murder the messenger. Thanks for waking up now, tho ... not that it matters. (The Guardian: American healthcare is at a crossroads. It's time to talk universal healthcare)
Maybe Hollywood thinks Alec Baldwin represents the Undead well enough already. (The Guardian: It’s a travesty George A Romero never won an Oscar – what’s the Academy scared of?)
Chris Christie has taken the title from Rick Perry, ex-Governor of Texas. (Observer: Poll: Christie Still the Least Popular US Governor)
MSM doesn't need truth; they just need anything they can sell. (Observer: Antique Dealer Sues Wall Street Journal, Says ISIS Article ‘Decimated’ His Reputation)
Marvel Comics recycles cartoons and UFO hunters now recycle the Nazca Lines in Peru. (RT: Ufologist ‘confirms with scientific evidence’ that aliens lived with humans on Earth)
Tip: what if the UFO hunters ARE the space aliens?
Cops set another man afire with a taser. Trifecta is now in play. (RT: Taser-wielding cops accidentally set naked man on fire during arrest)
Maybe cops thought it was a terrorist attack. (RT: Police helicopter filmed couple ‘brazenly’ having sex on patio, court hears)
Inquiring minds are asking where the fuck he got all those bedbugs. (Dayton Daily News: Bed bugs, fireworks used to vandalize Middletown property, man says)
Bonus point: not far from Cincinnati.
Are you willing to bet your life on that, Speed Racer? (RT: Human could have outrun T-Rex, research says)
Well, porno is arguably safe sex. Perhaps this is the top-down method of problem management. (RT: Pornhub launches ‘Old School’ video campaign to combat STD rise in elderly)
Interfering in Iran is so 1953 ... and the CIA screwed that up too (i.e. installation of the Shah). (RT: Trump admin slaps Iran with new sanctions despite nuclear deal compliance)
Tip: think of any positive thing the CIA ever did anywhere. Take your time.
Oh, you're wanting a hero? How about a man with cojones like cannonballs. (RT: Flaming, gas-filled tanker guided to safety by hero trucker (PHOTOS))
When an idiot director gets you killed by filming on a train trestle without permission, do the obvious thing: sue the CBX train. (AJC: Jury awards $11.2 million after fatal injury on Georgia film set)
Creationists are at their funky best when they slam Flat-Earthers for stupidity. (RawStory: Creationists mock flat earthers by insisting no one ‘really believes the Bible’s completely literal’)
There are many ways to look like a dork in America but wearing Google Glass is always the most effective. (Phys.org: Google Glass reborn for the workplace)
Speaking of looking like a dork ...
A blue Dover shirt and khaki Dockers slacks are sure signs you have no future and you know it. (Charlotte Agenda: Charlotte men, drop the blue shirts and khaki pants. It’s not 1995 anymore.)
There seems to be confusion regarding who failed with Mitch McConnell's health plan. The hair flip with the petulant stamp of the foot made for some good theater, tho. (The Guardian: ‘Let Obamacare fail’: Donald Trump lays out healthcare plan – video)
Thanks and enjoy the after-dinner mints when they throw your murderous ass in jail. (The Guardian: Minneapolis officer who allegedly shot Justine Damond offers condolences)
What kind of loser of a thief steals cheese? (The Guardian: No whey! Cheesemaker offers £500 reward after theft of prizewinning cheddars)
Note: as to 'no whey,' that's a real cracker in England.
Here's helpful advice on how to patriotically kowtow and it comes from the Dog Killer. (The Guardian: Michael Vick's tip for Colin Kaepernick: get a haircut and be 'presentable')
What say we just dump people off medical care without any consideration at all. We will pretend we don't hear Paul Ryan's Presidential plans stinkfarting into oblivion. (The Guardian: Senate will vote to repeal Obamacare without replacement, after new healthcare bill stumbles)
Note: it was comical to see Paul Ryan running away from it once it started tanking again.
It was time to talk of universal health care a year ago but The Guardian tried to murder the messenger. Thanks for waking up now, tho ... not that it matters. (The Guardian: American healthcare is at a crossroads. It's time to talk universal healthcare)
Maybe Hollywood thinks Alec Baldwin represents the Undead well enough already. (The Guardian: It’s a travesty George A Romero never won an Oscar – what’s the Academy scared of?)
Chris Christie has taken the title from Rick Perry, ex-Governor of Texas. (Observer: Poll: Christie Still the Least Popular US Governor)
MSM doesn't need truth; they just need anything they can sell. (Observer: Antique Dealer Sues Wall Street Journal, Says ISIS Article ‘Decimated’ His Reputation)
Marvel Comics recycles cartoons and UFO hunters now recycle the Nazca Lines in Peru. (RT: Ufologist ‘confirms with scientific evidence’ that aliens lived with humans on Earth)
Tip: what if the UFO hunters ARE the space aliens?
Cops set another man afire with a taser. Trifecta is now in play. (RT: Taser-wielding cops accidentally set naked man on fire during arrest)
Maybe cops thought it was a terrorist attack. (RT: Police helicopter filmed couple ‘brazenly’ having sex on patio, court hears)
Inquiring minds are asking where the fuck he got all those bedbugs. (Dayton Daily News: Bed bugs, fireworks used to vandalize Middletown property, man says)
Bonus point: not far from Cincinnati.
Are you willing to bet your life on that, Speed Racer? (RT: Human could have outrun T-Rex, research says)
Well, porno is arguably safe sex. Perhaps this is the top-down method of problem management. (RT: Pornhub launches ‘Old School’ video campaign to combat STD rise in elderly)
Interfering in Iran is so 1953 ... and the CIA screwed that up too (i.e. installation of the Shah). (RT: Trump admin slaps Iran with new sanctions despite nuclear deal compliance)
Tip: think of any positive thing the CIA ever did anywhere. Take your time.
Oh, you're wanting a hero? How about a man with cojones like cannonballs. (RT: Flaming, gas-filled tanker guided to safety by hero trucker (PHOTOS))
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