Thursday, March 23, 2017

Marching with the New American Army

The New American Army isn't about revolution and we couldn't care less if you stay in step when you march.

We're the New American Army of the universal draft and we came around to fix some shit.

We have a quarter of a million in our ranks and we hope to expand quickly to one million.  Take a look at them as they're young and they're healthy li'l beggars, aren't they.  Big, too.


Negatory.  Unless your ass is locked in San Quentin, you are not getting out of it, Cinderella.  America needs some fixin' and your tired ass is going to help.

See, in the New American Army, we have the Medical Battalion and this is divided into your stationary units for ongoing care and your M*A*S*H units which go wherever immediate medical assistance is needed.  These go to wherever the helicopter emergency coverage of cities is not available.

Young grasshopper, when you emerge from this cadre, you will be ready to save some damn lives wherever you go.

We have our Engineering Battalion and these young Rogers go out there using military kit to do road-fixing and bridge repairing and all of that kind of heavy duty work.

Ed:  some young Sallies will be doing this too!

Of course they will.  Everyone is engaged in it since you pay your dues or you walk.  See above about San Quentin is the only valid excuse for abstention.

Since we're old, wicked, and devious, we know training these Rogers and Sallies on military kit means they can opt for combat assignments if that is their choice to do.  We will not mandate combat for anyone but neither will we prevent training on kit which can serve either purpose unless it's specifically for a combat purpose and then you have to X on it to go forward.

We also have the New American Army Band but this one doesn't field any marching bands since they only play musical political speeches.  These rascals can play and you will learn about those dues when you tour with this lot, young jammer.  You will definitely learn about the road.

Lord Nelson:  don't forget the New American Navy!

Roger that, sir, admiral, sir.

The New American Navy isn't blowing shit up and people know that because we sail a surplus aircraft carrier which has no weapons and ...

Lord Nelson:  you didn't paint it pink?

We did.  It sails around doing emergency things and floats into port blaring "Echoes" from all the speakers on-deck.  It's glorious.

Ed:  ok, ok, so I get it.  There's two years and everyone shows or you get sent to Elba or some such.  In that time you optionally do peaceful or combat service but you will do one or the other.

Need more detail.  What if Sally turns up preggers?

We need some Sociology, mate.  Is there going to be agreement anywhere that turning up preggers before you're eighteen is a good idea?  We can't mandate that she is not allowed to do it but still it's almost always a dumb ass idea.

I do believe you're talking about a different problem and it may be ameliorating since I don't think it's as extreme as it has been and that's not a short-term trend.

I have a loose idea of a Battalion in which she can serve and she can take the kid but that's wafer thin for now.

Ed:  what about brainiacs?  They waltz off to uni and skip it.

Incorrecto.  Try not to be so locked to ancient models since the model to matriculation doesn't have to be a four-year process.  Merge those years with two years of mandatory service and that's hardly such a radical thing when engineers and other disciplines have been doing co-op programs with real-world work assignments for donkey's years.

The brainiacs will share their stuff too.  The vibe is total Three Musketeers in one for all and all for one.

Ed:  you live in a dream world!

Yah, and it's such a nightmare too, isn't it (larfs).

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