Saturday, September 20, 2014

Final Request for Zombie Avoidance

My request has been simple and clear for a long time.  Burn me up and throw what's left into a dumpster at Wal-Mart.  If someone gives some value to that then there's something substantially wrong with your sick ass.

The more I think of it, the more it makes me laugh.  Maybe I write this somewhere as an official final request.  Whomever does it thinks, damn, you were one sick motherfucker.

It just makes tears in my eyes laughing!

This could be such classic crap.  Maybe you get busted for illegally dumping ass ash into a dumpster.  Maybe that's illegal for who knows what insane reason.  You can't put those ashes here, this is a dumpster.  I will have to cite you to court and, of course, I will have to search your car for drugs and Mexicans.

People would be so pissed but, wtf, I'm dead.  They would laugh later, right?


Recall the senior thesis title, "Death as Considered in the Carefully Modulated Limelight of Indifference."

I couldn't get any more pretentious than that if I had gone to some Big East college with all the richies.

So that title says it but this scenario lives it ... well ... except for me.

Maybe Wal-Mart steps in to prevent it and then sues to prevent ashes from being dumped in their dumpsters.  No ashes here, by God.

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