Sunday, September 28, 2014

Donika Causes TSA Alligator Alert at LAX

Everything went fairly well with the alligator until she got to the luggage carousel at LAX ... and that's when the alligator escaped.  Now an alligator doesn't typically move very fast ... unless it is trying to eat you and then the alligator's speed makes you feel like Congress and the alligator is the American people.

Fortunately, the people at LAX move faster than Congress and there are no reports, thus far, of any injuries.  However, the TSA declared an alligator alert and locked-down LAX.

Donika called back here wondering what she should do and the first question back to her was this:  is there any baggage claim tag attached to the alligator.  She said there was not so the advice was to get lunch and a rental car as you never saw the alligator before, right.  Besides, it will be the first actual work anyone in the TSA ever did other than groping your boobs for dope so, wtf, let them catch alligators.

Happily, we can report Donika did find a car and made her way out of the airport.  However, the TSA still has not found the alligator.


Kim Kardashian was in LAX trying to board an outbound flight but it was canceled due to the alligator alert.  Said Kardashian, "first I can't get into A-list parties, second I can't get a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, and now this!  I'm up-staged by an alligator.  Where will it end?"

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