Hitting the brick in Scotland was one poor way to end the book. The real wrap is in Fort Worth after the rescue.
I will whitewash what happened up there as some of it sucked ferociously. The generosity of my cousin needs to be there and same with the lovely people in the deli. The deli was the key story as it was my second home and everything else was cold misery. That needs a little emphasis to tell the relief of the rescue.
The heroin left a bad taste in my life and also in the story but it's germane insofar as it has been a long-term quest. I will review further but, overall, the Scotland segment will be chopped. Call it a bile flush if you like. Without Haximoto I was grounded and there was no story to tell after that.
As to wrapping it in Fort Worth:
The good news is you're back with musical equipment you haven't been able to play in over a year ... but ... you're even sicker than you thought. Confirming the illness is important as it gives all the more emphasis to doing your dream thing, whatever it is, right now. That point won't require symptoms and details as the reader can easily see it anyway. There will be something musical that's been recorded since I got back here and there's the wrap. Let the reader decide what Paradise was abandoned. That makes it go in circles rather than a linear blah-de-blah as it exists now and that is, for me, much more satisfying.
We shall see whether I can manage it as the Fort Worth part isn't written.
Update 1:
The Foreword needs to change to include the video for "Ice Cream Blues" as the theme is germane, time does melt like an ice cream, and the video effect of the dissolve from the kid to me and back tells it better than words will. The music at the end must be from something recorded now or it's just pointless spam. A new piece completes the loop and Paradise goes around in circles. It must use all instruments and for the biggest bang it needs video. Fade to black. Let the reader decide where Paradise really lies.
Update 2:
"Time Melts Like an Ice Cream" is now the first story in Chapter One. The editorial justification is it answers the question of just what the hell were you doing in Greece and it answers another one in how the hell did you get there. That particular song is the theme of the book ... plus the theme for life, the Universe and Everything.
I've spent several hours thinking almost exclusively about this and what an unbelievable luxury. The question for the editor is whether it's gratuitous spam just to push up one of my videos. If there is no substantive book value as in adding actual content to the story then it doesn't belong. I've chucked multiple things on that basis. There were too many smart-ass remarks about America. Some remain as they're fair but it's like salt ... too much and you have a heart attack.
I will whitewash what happened up there as some of it sucked ferociously. The generosity of my cousin needs to be there and same with the lovely people in the deli. The deli was the key story as it was my second home and everything else was cold misery. That needs a little emphasis to tell the relief of the rescue.
The heroin left a bad taste in my life and also in the story but it's germane insofar as it has been a long-term quest. I will review further but, overall, the Scotland segment will be chopped. Call it a bile flush if you like. Without Haximoto I was grounded and there was no story to tell after that.
As to wrapping it in Fort Worth:
The good news is you're back with musical equipment you haven't been able to play in over a year ... but ... you're even sicker than you thought. Confirming the illness is important as it gives all the more emphasis to doing your dream thing, whatever it is, right now. That point won't require symptoms and details as the reader can easily see it anyway. There will be something musical that's been recorded since I got back here and there's the wrap. Let the reader decide what Paradise was abandoned. That makes it go in circles rather than a linear blah-de-blah as it exists now and that is, for me, much more satisfying.
We shall see whether I can manage it as the Fort Worth part isn't written.
Update 1:
The Foreword needs to change to include the video for "Ice Cream Blues" as the theme is germane, time does melt like an ice cream, and the video effect of the dissolve from the kid to me and back tells it better than words will. The music at the end must be from something recorded now or it's just pointless spam. A new piece completes the loop and Paradise goes around in circles. It must use all instruments and for the biggest bang it needs video. Fade to black. Let the reader decide where Paradise really lies.
Update 2:
"Time Melts Like an Ice Cream" is now the first story in Chapter One. The editorial justification is it answers the question of just what the hell were you doing in Greece and it answers another one in how the hell did you get there. That particular song is the theme of the book ... plus the theme for life, the Universe and Everything.
I've spent several hours thinking almost exclusively about this and what an unbelievable luxury. The question for the editor is whether it's gratuitous spam just to push up one of my videos. If there is no substantive book value as in adding actual content to the story then it doesn't belong. I've chucked multiple things on that basis. There were too many smart-ass remarks about America. Some remain as they're fair but it's like salt ... too much and you have a heart attack.
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