Tuesday, March 21, 2017

That Fridge Won't Work in Your Garage But the Ganja Will

Although you have been nursing the idea of using that old fridge out in your garage to store more beer even than Doc took down to Dale Hollow Lake for his camping trips ... it ain' goin' happen.  The fridge ain't goin' work.

Note:  it would defy all laws of physics to consider putting as much beer as a Dale Hollow Lake camping trip into a single refrigerator.  An old memory may exaggerate but I recall fifteen to twenty columns of cases of beer which were stacked maybe half a dozen cases deep and possibly two wide.  To pack that much brew, you will need a fridge the size of the Space Station.

That might have been sufficient for two weeks because, wtf, it gets hot down there.

The garage fridge was sort of an OK deal for quite a while since maybe the freezer part breaks in your fridge.  It's a better deal to replace than to fix so, OK, now I have a beer fridge for the garage.  That worked great for many years and that fridge was the beginning of that which became so inelegantly identified later as 'man cave.'

Note:  it was important for women to differentiate and focus on the 'man cave' when the woman gets the whole rest of the fucking house.  Welcome to the 'woman cave' (i.e. everywhere else).

That old fridge will probably keep working and cherish it while it survives but putting a newer fridge out there probably won't work and here's why:

The newer fridges have the whizbang intelligent circuitry and they're 'aware' of temperature / humidity to most optimally manage the efficiency of the fridge.  The newer fridges can't handle a temperature range more extreme than about 50F to 100F or so.  Put that newer fridge outside and it will roll over and you won't get a warranty fix even if it's within the period.

Unknown why this man put a four-month-old fridge in his garage but it failed and this is what came of trying to get it fixed.

Ed's family lost a freezer full of food when the new fridge stopped working. "The freezer side thawed out," he said.

So they called Sears for a free warranty repair, which promptly sent out a repairman. But after looking it over, he told them he was sorry but that it could not be repaired under warranty.

"They said there is a part available that we will order for you," Schubert said the repairman told them. "It's around $50, but we won't pay for it, and you'll have to have someone install it," he said the repairman then said.

He couldn't believe it would cost almost $200 to fix a fridge still within its one year warranty.

- Denver 7:  Why newer refrigerators may not work in the garage

This may seem a story of doom and gloom for man caves but it's alright since at least a quarter of you don't want that skanky beer anyway and you will be smoking the ganja in that cave.

Of course the Rockhouse has proof since a quarter of you would switch away from hangovers and bad attitudes to ganja if it is legal in your state.  (Money:  A Quarter of American Beer Drinkers Say They’re Switching to Pot)

A quarter of Americans are going to pot.  Yes, I see it.  That's very funny, isn't it, Watson.

Watson:  smashing

I have never understood why people get off on alcohol and I fuckin' tried too.  I drank that shitty stuff and, what do you know, it made me feel shitty but I thought these people must know somethin' and I'm not doing it right.  I would try it again and feel shitty again ... and then I'd get sick just to feel shittiest of all.

Love that demon rum, huh.

A quarter of you will throw out that satanic slime but that leaves three quarters of you who think alcohol makes you feel good or sexy or witty or something.

Mates, we have seriously got to reevaluate what feeling good actually feels like and I do have one tip that it usually doesn't involve puking into a toilet at three in the morning.

And how many of you booze monkeys ever passed out on the bathroom floor, huh.

There you have it.  Yer old fridge prob'ly won't work in your garage ... but a quarter of you won't care.

No comments: