Going to the gritty right from the top, there's some shit you don't want to know and what they do during a colonoscopy is in that odious category.
Nevertheless, a class is required prior to being blessed with the procedure and I've even had the procedure before but it's been longer than is recommended because no-one volunteers for a colonoscopy.
There's no fear as you're not even really awake for it. There's no awareness of what they do and I would be more than pleased to keep it that way ... but ... a class is mandatory.
We know there are the dreaded Polyps. We don't know what they are and we don't care. We just don't want them. They didn't find any with me but I gather they will nick them off during the procedure when they're encountered and this may sting the next day.
The last time they 'scoped me was about ten years back so maybe they will get lucky this time. Cross yer fingers.
I don't know what makes the dreaded Polyps but this seems like a good bet:
This gourmet delight has got one millimeter of wilted vegetable dripping in grease so that makes it a health food, right?
Quick: what's a word for aggressively disgusting other than politics?
This is the sandwich for those who just don't care about dying. They don't care if they will die tomorrow. They don't care if they die while they're eating the fucking sandwich. Even a gorilla would choke on it.
Moriarty: no, a gorilla wouldn't choke on it. They're aren't carnivorous.
See, there you go, Moriarty, spoiling a good horror with details.
How about that burger carried through to the future where it will have syntho-bacon, syntho-cheese, syntho-beef, and that sorry shard of lettuce will be real so it will still be health food.
Onward to the class on colonoscopy. I will take good notes, I'm sure.
Whoa, whoa, whoa ... I just noticed the appt is for Fort Worth. I thought it was necessary to drive to Dallas and that takes an hour or better each way. That chaps annoyance down enormously ... but I still don't want to do it. I don't care about the colonoscopy and for that they can just schedule it and do it.
Just don't give me the play by play, ok? I really don't care.
Nevertheless, a class is required prior to being blessed with the procedure and I've even had the procedure before but it's been longer than is recommended because no-one volunteers for a colonoscopy.
There's no fear as you're not even really awake for it. There's no awareness of what they do and I would be more than pleased to keep it that way ... but ... a class is mandatory.
We know there are the dreaded Polyps. We don't know what they are and we don't care. We just don't want them. They didn't find any with me but I gather they will nick them off during the procedure when they're encountered and this may sting the next day.
The last time they 'scoped me was about ten years back so maybe they will get lucky this time. Cross yer fingers.
I don't know what makes the dreaded Polyps but this seems like a good bet:
This gourmet delight has got one millimeter of wilted vegetable dripping in grease so that makes it a health food, right?
Quick: what's a word for aggressively disgusting other than politics?
This is the sandwich for those who just don't care about dying. They don't care if they will die tomorrow. They don't care if they die while they're eating the fucking sandwich. Even a gorilla would choke on it.
Moriarty: no, a gorilla wouldn't choke on it. They're aren't carnivorous.
See, there you go, Moriarty, spoiling a good horror with details.
How about that burger carried through to the future where it will have syntho-bacon, syntho-cheese, syntho-beef, and that sorry shard of lettuce will be real so it will still be health food.
Onward to the class on colonoscopy. I will take good notes, I'm sure.
Whoa, whoa, whoa ... I just noticed the appt is for Fort Worth. I thought it was necessary to drive to Dallas and that takes an hour or better each way. That chaps annoyance down enormously ... but I still don't want to do it. I don't care about the colonoscopy and for that they can just schedule it and do it.
Just don't give me the play by play, ok? I really don't care.
5 comments:
I've had 4 of these as mom died from colon cancer. The worst part is the stuff you have to drink to clear everything out the day before. Last year had twilght meds so was awake but couldn't feel anythng. Watched doc wipe out a polyp while we talked politics. Never had a class as that sounds like a lot of ___. You should be plenty hungry afterwards so a Waffle House stop will probably suffice. UH1
I do remember the radiator flush prior to the procedure and that's always a treat, isn't it. Be sure to have a good book available.
For my one ignoble experience in that realm, I really don't remember anything. A sigmoidoscopy is similar in process and you're awake for that one. The doctor did advise I could watch on the monitor but I did not see that which had drawn him to this field of medicine and quickly lost interest.
Waffle House is mandatory and, why not, I might meet Jungle Jim there!
Having been accused of having my head up my ass, I chose to watch and see if there was anything to it. Indeed there wasn't. Perhaps the technology has improved since it was a full colonoscopy. Insurance pays every five years as I have the family history and 3 of the last 4 times they removed polyps (all benign).
That's a joy I have yet to savor and I also have been accused of having my head up my ass but there's been no confirmation of that in any of these tests with me either. For the sake of science, I have to consider the possibility my head really was observed up my ass but the doctor was too tactful to say anything.
Checking out in that way when it seems largely preventable today just can't be allowed to happen. I'm glad you listened to the warning. Some of the best lessons from the 'rents didn't come from anything they said.
Post a Comment