Saturday, December 17, 2016

The Coming Ice Age in Fort Worth

The glaciers will surely be coming soon when we see the temperature will be down in the teens for at least the next few nights and probably forever.  In plain English for wherever you are, well, you're screwed.  When it gets cold enough for polar bears in Texas, the rest of the world really doesn't have much of a chance.

Polar bears are called Ice bears in Germany and I think I like the German way better.

Ed:  you usually do!

Fair enough but Ice bear is more accurate even when they aren't made of ice.  'Polar' is a word people often use in tandem with 'opposite' when they're really not sure what either word means but they still want to impress you.  For example, Kanye West is the polar opposite of Jimi Hendrix.

Tip:  just walk away.  There's no point in continuing the conversation.

Ed:  the term is important in geometry!

Yah but geometry isn't important in anything else.  I just love your hypotenuse, baby.  I don't think that will be enough for West to get Kimbo back.

Ed:  I thought he dumped her?

Who cares.  Both of them are cabbages.


An Ice Age may make Christmas mean something in Texas and the presence of so many TV preachers here shows it doesn't mean much now.  When you really get it with Christmas, you can give your wife a garbage can and still love each other thirty years later.

Two friends of mine in Cincinnati were seriously affected by cerebral palsy but they were mad about each other, deeply Catholic, and just crazy in love.

There were so broke during their early years that my friend gave his wife a garbage can and she was happy about it because they really needed one.

Thirty years later they were still mad in love with each other and were a couple of the nicest people you could ever hope to meet.

Call it an answer to a prayer if you like since their daughter was not afflicted by the malady and neither of her parents went to university but she did.

He was also a man who got no argument about keeping a loaded weapon by the bedside.  He practiced and he was good with it.  If any criminal would come into their house and advance on them in their helplessness, I have high confidence he would not survive.

That's one of the reasons we don't lose sight of Christmas down here.

Ed:  you have lost sight of it previously!

That's all the more reason not to do that now, isn't it.  Ha!

Ed:  that's kind of hypocritical to refer to their prayers!

Not at all since there's no judgment.  I have no doubt they prayed for a healthy baby girl and there she was.  What you make of that is your call and not mine.

Mrs Betty Bowers, America's Best Christian, might say that's rubbish but ...

Here's your Christmas shocker:  Mrs Betty Bowers, America's Best Christian, isn't real.  I had thought possibly Betty Bowers is her real name and she writes the material but, in fact, she's an actress and someone else writes the bits.  (Ithaka:  "The War on Christmas" from Mrs Betty Bowers, America's Best Christian)

Ed:  heresy!

Fact, matey, mate.

Note:  mostly I find their work funny as they work well together but lately it's been getting a tad thick with them thrashing Trump all the time.  That's only got legs for two more days, tho.  Whew.

So, uh, happy holidays (larfs).

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