I Was Going to Be Nice

But it didn't last on Twitter ...

#PostAnUnpopularFoodOpinion if you get any fatter, your ass will need a street sign

I might squeak by on a technicality since that might have been before midnight and therefore did not fall on Christmas Eve.

I'm not sure if Queen Elizabeth delivers her Christmas message on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day but they were a marvel to this kid in Australia.  People frequently disrespect her but she's the last of the world's great monarchs and her Christmas message has traditionally been a beautiful thing.  I heard it when I was a kid so she's been doing it for at least sixty years.

Ed:  you will deliver a queenly Christmas message?

Well, Donald Sutherland aspired to be Queen of France.  (Ref:  "Start the Revolution without Me")

Ed:  will you wear the Princess Di outfit?

That was just one time in Second Life and I don't still have it.

Ed:  but you did it for a good cause?

Naturally

Ed:  will we hear what good cause?

Probably not

I could go with Mystery Lady's black fishnet stockings but they would be too Halloween for the moment.

Ed:  you looked good in them

Fashion is everything ... but everyone in the house was so lit on coke that night I could have hung fish heads from my body and people would have thought it a fashion statement.

Fish heads, fish heads

Roly poly fish heads

Fish heads, fish heads

Eat 'em up, yum

a)  Monty Python

b)  Saturday Night Live

c)  Wolf Blitzer

Note:  I don't know

To all my lovely subjects, even when hardly any of you are left, have a lovely Christmas and be lovely to each other.

Ed:  that's it?  That's your queenly message?

I don't have a dress and I've never even seen a palace, much less been in one.  I didn't even make it to Edinburgh Castle when I lived there.

Do you wanna hear my punk "Silent Night?"  It was so punk even punks wouldn't do it.

Ed:  NO!