There was a time when if one turned on the television there might be Milton Berle doing an act while he wore a dress and smoked a cigar.
Today if one turns on a television there will often by Dick Cheney on Fox News biting the heads off chickens.
We do not regard this as evolution in action. It's known scientifically as commercial bumfuckery and life was much better when Milton Berle wore a dress. He was vastly more interesting in a dress than Dick Cheney ever was without one.
For more commercial bumfuckery, we have Caitlyn Jenner, the Clown Princess of Transgender. I'm your plastic fantastic lovah ... but I still can't get a gig on the late show because I'm such a blistering bore.
My experience with transgender is considerably more than reading books and I do not need any self-righteous lectures on the subject. They're just as fucked-up as anyone else and, while they're going through the procedure, they're often even more fucked-up because of hormone combat. As to why they do it, I still don't know. I do know they're not women.
Transgender people can do many things women do but they're still not biologically women. It doesn't matter what hormones you pump into the body as every Y chromosome in the body screams the hormones are lying. As to whether she lives as a woman, so what ... but what happens if Caitlyn Jenner were to go into sports (and were forty years younger). Maybe you call that fair but I don't as her muscles are built, in whatever part, by Y chromosomes. There's equality and then there's (cough) stacking the deck.
In the obsessive demand for equality, the word stops meaning anything. Everything is equal to everything else.
OK then ... moving along.
Justin Bieber wept
and Miley Cyrus never seems to be able to keep her tongue in her mouth
and, oh God, is Taylor Swift still a virgin.
Still? Are you fucking serious?
So, uh, refresh my memory, if you would. Why the hell do you want a virgin?? On second thought, never mind. I don't want to know. I mean, I really don't want to know. There's something pedophilic in the male fantasy of being the dominator of the innocent maiden. Nah, I don't want to know.
(Yah, I know sometimes it's ok ... just not with virgins)
Speaking of non-virgins, The Pretty Reckless definitely comes into the smokin' hot category. The virgins don't interest me but The Pretty Reckless could easily make me want to be young again. You may be young but in your case, I do believe that will be just fine. (Blog: "Heaven Knows" - The Pretty Reckless (video))
Excerpt from lyrics:
Jimmy's in the back with a pocket of high
If you listen close
You can hear him cry
Oh, Lord, heaven knows
We belong way down below
Sing it
Oh, Lord, heaven knows
We belong way down below
Way down below, way down below
Bad-ass
As to whether I'm going to burn, that's a roger on that, Cap'n. It was reviewed with my Catholic friend today regarding what constitutes a 'grave matter' or a Mortal Sin in the eyes of the Vatican and that looks to be generally the Ten Commandments. I'm pulling a ten percent success rate with the Ten Commandments so my ass is toast.
But, God, I didn't kill anyone, man. That counts right?
You killed that bird with a slingshot when you were a kid. Take his ass away. Burn him.
At a young age I said to my not-then-ol' Mother that sleep was like death. She said she thought that was awful in thinking you will die if you sleep ... but she didn't have a better answer.
I still believe sleep is death as I get nothing out of it whatsoever. My head hits the pillow. Time passes. I wake back up again. I never even had a wet dream and that's a bullshit ripoff. I heard about wet dreams and never had one and kids are neurotic. I'm wondering do I dream wrong. What's the problem. Is my peckerwood busted. Then you get to the big prize. Oh, fucking, no. Am I gay. Of course it's not logical, you're kid. You're raising wood every time you pass the girls locker room and you ask if you're gay. Tell me your mind did not do this when you were a kid. That's why it's so easy to get them to shoot people.
That has just given the most killin' epiphany. It's always kind of pissed me off that I don't consciously remember dreams as the harder I try the faster they run away. Since my not-then-ol' Mother didn't say anything about dreams, she must not have remembered hers either. This is a comforting thought as I realize she was just as fookin' crazy as I. Thanks, Mum. That's a good 'un. Because what comes from the failure to remember dreams is the understanding everything is a dream. Yep, that's a good 'un, alright. It's true too.
Today if one turns on a television there will often by Dick Cheney on Fox News biting the heads off chickens.
We do not regard this as evolution in action. It's known scientifically as commercial bumfuckery and life was much better when Milton Berle wore a dress. He was vastly more interesting in a dress than Dick Cheney ever was without one.
For more commercial bumfuckery, we have Caitlyn Jenner, the Clown Princess of Transgender. I'm your plastic fantastic lovah ... but I still can't get a gig on the late show because I'm such a blistering bore.
My experience with transgender is considerably more than reading books and I do not need any self-righteous lectures on the subject. They're just as fucked-up as anyone else and, while they're going through the procedure, they're often even more fucked-up because of hormone combat. As to why they do it, I still don't know. I do know they're not women.
Transgender people can do many things women do but they're still not biologically women. It doesn't matter what hormones you pump into the body as every Y chromosome in the body screams the hormones are lying. As to whether she lives as a woman, so what ... but what happens if Caitlyn Jenner were to go into sports (and were forty years younger). Maybe you call that fair but I don't as her muscles are built, in whatever part, by Y chromosomes. There's equality and then there's (cough) stacking the deck.
In the obsessive demand for equality, the word stops meaning anything. Everything is equal to everything else.
OK then ... moving along.
Justin Bieber wept
and Miley Cyrus never seems to be able to keep her tongue in her mouth
and, oh God, is Taylor Swift still a virgin.
Still? Are you fucking serious?
So, uh, refresh my memory, if you would. Why the hell do you want a virgin?? On second thought, never mind. I don't want to know. I mean, I really don't want to know. There's something pedophilic in the male fantasy of being the dominator of the innocent maiden. Nah, I don't want to know.
(Yah, I know sometimes it's ok ... just not with virgins)
Speaking of non-virgins, The Pretty Reckless definitely comes into the smokin' hot category. The virgins don't interest me but The Pretty Reckless could easily make me want to be young again. You may be young but in your case, I do believe that will be just fine. (Blog: "Heaven Knows" - The Pretty Reckless (video))
Excerpt from lyrics:
If you listen close
You can hear him cry
Oh, Lord, heaven knows
We belong way down below
Sing it
Oh, Lord, heaven knows
We belong way down below
Way down below, way down below
Bad-ass
As to whether I'm going to burn, that's a roger on that, Cap'n. It was reviewed with my Catholic friend today regarding what constitutes a 'grave matter' or a Mortal Sin in the eyes of the Vatican and that looks to be generally the Ten Commandments. I'm pulling a ten percent success rate with the Ten Commandments so my ass is toast.
But, God, I didn't kill anyone, man. That counts right?
You killed that bird with a slingshot when you were a kid. Take his ass away. Burn him.
At a young age I said to my not-then-ol' Mother that sleep was like death. She said she thought that was awful in thinking you will die if you sleep ... but she didn't have a better answer.
I still believe sleep is death as I get nothing out of it whatsoever. My head hits the pillow. Time passes. I wake back up again. I never even had a wet dream and that's a bullshit ripoff. I heard about wet dreams and never had one and kids are neurotic. I'm wondering do I dream wrong. What's the problem. Is my peckerwood busted. Then you get to the big prize. Oh, fucking, no. Am I gay. Of course it's not logical, you're kid. You're raising wood every time you pass the girls locker room and you ask if you're gay. Tell me your mind did not do this when you were a kid. That's why it's so easy to get them to shoot people.
That has just given the most killin' epiphany. It's always kind of pissed me off that I don't consciously remember dreams as the harder I try the faster they run away. Since my not-then-ol' Mother didn't say anything about dreams, she must not have remembered hers either. This is a comforting thought as I realize she was just as fookin' crazy as I. Thanks, Mum. That's a good 'un. Because what comes from the failure to remember dreams is the understanding everything is a dream. Yep, that's a good 'un, alright. It's true too.
No comments:
Post a Comment