Russian physics scientist, Igor Strativosky, invented the first Idiot Ray in 1972 after many years of experimentation which, regrettably, resulted in a number of research subjects becoming not much more intelligent than lab rats but eventually the device was stabilized to vary the duration of the effect.
Power was increased on the device until the Chernobyl nuclear reactor failure in 1986 when authorities decided it was too dangerous to continue performing any additional testing of the ray within the limits of Russian territory. Naturally, that meant only one thing: point it at America and it has been operating ever since.
The Idiot Ray had been used on America previously as that's what got Reagan elected but they weren't consistent in how they applied it and they underestimated the intelligence and criminality of bankers who subsequently ran hog wild over the country and much of the world.
Doctor Strativosky is no longer actively involved with the Idiot Ray program as he had a logic error in one of the test circuits which inverted the polarity of the idiocy thus applying the machine at full power to himself. Today, Doctor Strativosky only answers when called Mister Ed. If he understands you, he will tap his foot on the ground.
The consequence of the Idiot Ray is immediately apparent in such manifestations as the Tea Party, exploding alarm clocks, and the obsessive need to buy water in plastic bottles when you can get it for free.
However, there are substantial differences in penetration with the Idiot Ray and Russian researchers studied the problem for years, finally determining the Jet Stream causes the anomalies. For example, Texas has been mostly idiotized but areas around Austin remain unaffected. Tennessee has a mixed level of idiotization but Arkansas is immediately adjacent and there isn't a soul in the state who is not severely taxed in determining how to open a can of beans.
Neither is the effect localized to the South as Wisconsin elected Scott Walker to the governorship. This buffoon of a dropout couldn't even get a job as a hack programmer so naturally that means they give him what is ostensibly the most important job in the state.
(Ed: Idiot Ray?)
What else.
The Meathead Capital of the United States remains Oklahoma as they pioneered the forty-five minute execution. In a jailhouse filled to the walls with murderers, it took them forty-five minutes to kill a man.
(Ed: you would think they would ask for some professional advice from all these killers)
You would think. They would not but you would.
(Ed: Idiot Ray?)
On maximum power setting.
The reason the Jet Stream affects the Idiot Ray propagation is the creation of vortices of superstitial moleculoidinal energy which tend to diffract the wavelength of the Idiot Ray. Compounding this diffraction is the prismatic effect sometimes induced in combination with solar flare activity. In this case the Idiot Ray diffraction is through a spectrum of idiocy including everything in both political parties plus any Canadian who ever entered a Starbucks.
This Public Service Announcement is approved by the Committee for Study of Conspiracy Theory in school. The truth must be known.
Power was increased on the device until the Chernobyl nuclear reactor failure in 1986 when authorities decided it was too dangerous to continue performing any additional testing of the ray within the limits of Russian territory. Naturally, that meant only one thing: point it at America and it has been operating ever since.
The Idiot Ray had been used on America previously as that's what got Reagan elected but they weren't consistent in how they applied it and they underestimated the intelligence and criminality of bankers who subsequently ran hog wild over the country and much of the world.
Doctor Strativosky is no longer actively involved with the Idiot Ray program as he had a logic error in one of the test circuits which inverted the polarity of the idiocy thus applying the machine at full power to himself. Today, Doctor Strativosky only answers when called Mister Ed. If he understands you, he will tap his foot on the ground.
The consequence of the Idiot Ray is immediately apparent in such manifestations as the Tea Party, exploding alarm clocks, and the obsessive need to buy water in plastic bottles when you can get it for free.
However, there are substantial differences in penetration with the Idiot Ray and Russian researchers studied the problem for years, finally determining the Jet Stream causes the anomalies. For example, Texas has been mostly idiotized but areas around Austin remain unaffected. Tennessee has a mixed level of idiotization but Arkansas is immediately adjacent and there isn't a soul in the state who is not severely taxed in determining how to open a can of beans.
Neither is the effect localized to the South as Wisconsin elected Scott Walker to the governorship. This buffoon of a dropout couldn't even get a job as a hack programmer so naturally that means they give him what is ostensibly the most important job in the state.
(Ed: Idiot Ray?)
What else.
The Meathead Capital of the United States remains Oklahoma as they pioneered the forty-five minute execution. In a jailhouse filled to the walls with murderers, it took them forty-five minutes to kill a man.
(Ed: you would think they would ask for some professional advice from all these killers)
You would think. They would not but you would.
(Ed: Idiot Ray?)
On maximum power setting.
The reason the Jet Stream affects the Idiot Ray propagation is the creation of vortices of superstitial moleculoidinal energy which tend to diffract the wavelength of the Idiot Ray. Compounding this diffraction is the prismatic effect sometimes induced in combination with solar flare activity. In this case the Idiot Ray diffraction is through a spectrum of idiocy including everything in both political parties plus any Canadian who ever entered a Starbucks.
This Public Service Announcement is approved by the Committee for Study of Conspiracy Theory in school. The truth must be known.
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