Saturday, March 25, 2017

Register Soon for Arkansas Execution Tour with Eight in Ten Days

Due to a shortage of witnesses, Arkansas will soon be executing eight people in ten days and, get this, you can watch ... and it's free.  Believe you me, it's so much better than watching the video clips with the military whacking civilians from helicopters.

I mean, Bubba, you're right there when they croak these criminals and how can you top that in value for your tourist dollar.  What's more, you can see seven more before you go home.  How can a week in Cancun possibly top that.  (RT: Arkansas, short of volunteer witnesses, seeks to rush through 8 executions in 10 days in April)

You must act soon because, well, the prisoners won't wait and we believe once people know about this offer it will get busier around here than when Bill Clinton calls for under-age hookers.

Arkansas seems determined to lock down its position as the Worst State in America since it gave us Bill Clinton, Hillary Clinton, Tom Cotton, and Mike Huckabee, four people who should never have aspired to being more than biofuel.

© Handout / Reuters

Here's an official Arkansas Croaker Table and notice the professional touches with the drilling of each arm position and convenient access to both arms.

Ed:  why all the holes when it only takes one to kill the person?

The CIA also uses this table in the places they operate in their foreign sites.  Each of the holes is for a tube which delivers a different torture drug.  They have the following array at their disposal:

- make the person feel like he is burning on the surface of the sun
- make the person feel like he is being chased by rats the size of mountain lions
- make him hallucinate and see a naked Chelsea Clinton doing a belly dance

Ed:  I bet that last one cracks them and makes them talk

Yep, every time.  Anything to make it stop.

Welcome to Arkansas, unlike anywhere you ever saw before and exactly like places you never want to see again.

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