Saturday, March 18, 2017

Bring on the Demons; Bring on the Exorcisms

There's nothing in life which religion can't make stranger and we love their work with demons, particularly the exorcisms which are fun for the whole family.  (RT:  Pope Francis urges priests to use exorcists if they hear confessions indicating demonic activity)

Pope Francis blesses during the penitential celebration in St. Peter's Basilica at the Vatican March 17, 2017

© Alessandro Bianchi / Reuters

Before you get too much theological out there, wtf is a penitential celebration.  We're kind of thick out here in the Rockhouse but that sounds as logical as military intelligence or White House acumen.

Pope Francis has advised Catholic priests “not to hesitate” in using professional exorcists if they encounter people experiencing “genuine spiritual disturbances.”

- RT

We heartily endorse the Vatican's use of union exorcists and fully concur with their beseeching the priests to use only professionals.  Look for that union label, especially in the presence of demons.  He said, "Any time I turn things over to amateurs, I get some asshole building a dinosaur park with humans."

Always look for that union label.

Have a ball with whatever you consider a genuine spiritual disturbance.  Here at the Rockhouse, we perceive a major spiritual disturbance in someone who could be prickish enough to cut off the Meals on Wheels program which takes food to disabled old people.  What kind of miserable, conniving, hateful bastard would ever do such a thing.

Note:  there's zero self-interest since no-one delivers even a burger to the Rockhouse ... well, sometimes friends do.

Watson:  do you want Pope Francis to perform an exorcism on Donald Trump?

Don't you think he needs it?

Watson:  he's the same as Clinton and Obama.  If you perform an exorcism, there won't be anything left.

That's a problem for the demons, mate, and do believe the Rockhouse doesn't care about them any more than they care about us.

Watson:  you're not economically viable!  That's why they don't care.

I must need an exorcism too (sob).

Watson:  you have been needing one since your first day in kindergarten with that lunchbox with the purple flowers on it.  The lunchbox is what started the crazy because that would not have happened if it had been a Spiderman lunchbox.

That probably happened to Trump as well so all we need to do is find Trump's lunchbox and we can fix all his stupid problems.  Let's get cracking on that, mate.  We will steal his lunchbox; he will blame the Russians but he will believe the CIA did it; we will laugh all the way to the islands.

Watson:  let's do it.

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