Thursday, July 4, 2013

Haximoto - Das Kamikaze Motorroller - Updated


The scooter shall henceforth be named Haximoto das Kamikaze Motorroller and this evening shall be a time of nursing my injuries of the last twenty-four hours.  Oh, poor pitiful me!

I woke up last night and stumbled in the darkness to the toilet.  However, a design genius put a step up to the bathroom and I kicked this step with glorious enthusiasm.  I don't make any noise for events like that but rather there is a status switch that flips in my brain that goes from You Are Barely Awake to Damn, This Really Fucking Hurts!

So I stood there taking care of my business in the dark as it's really not necessary for a male to learn the esoterics of bidet as anything from a nearby creek to the wall, preferably outside, of a downtown bar will suffice for that purpose.  As I savored the pain that would have been blinding had the lights been on, I realised, damn, boy, you are leaking.

This seemed like a good time for lights as quiet suffering wasn't alone going to cover the situation and that's when I discovered there was a not unimpressive pool of blood from the damage.  The lesser toes would probably have been happy to suffer in silence but the big toe is such a slut for attention.

After reviewing the situation for some while I decided I would not die from loss of blood but it would be unfortunate to mess up the sheets so I wrapped a towel around it and went back to bed.  After a period of homage to the god of Damn, This Really Sucks, I fell back to  sleep.

In America one would sue based on this hideous transgression and some vampire attorney would win you a goldmine for it.  However, this is Europe and I told the folks at the desk in the morning and they responded appropriately by laughing.  Damn, boy, you sure a dumb ass.  And, yes, I was.  They got me some alcohol to clean it and a Band-Aid to wrap it and I was on the road again, albeit with a small amount of ongoing leakage.

But that wasn't the best part.

I haven't dropped Haximoto at speed since I bought her ... and I still haven't.  However, she did hit the asphalt again and I don't feel a huge injury to my pride as it was due the backwash of a passing vehicle when I stopped to get a picture of the mountains.  My efforts to avoid them were not altogether successful.

That damnable kickstand went soft again and down she went.  I was right by her when she wobbled but I couldn't hold her up.  She didn't hit too hard and fortunately did not break the mirror.  The guitar case hit too but I doubt it was any harder than she would take being loaded onto an aircraft so I'm not seriously worried about that.

The problem was lifting her back up again as she was down low and hefting her back up again was one holy massive bitch.  I tried as much as possible to lift only with my legs but still my back had to get into it somewhat and I am damn sure paying the price for that now.  I really don't know how I manage such things as that baby is heavy just sitting there but loaded with all my stuff she is a monster.  My shoulder is supposed to never be pushed beyond 15-20 kilos but the surgeon isn't here and it would be a bad idea to tell him.

But even that wasn't what really stung me.

The camera took a dive when Haximoto went down and it appeared to be the end for picture-taking.  I tried later to get some pictures by Genova and it behaved very strangely so I thought it was over.  I couldn't play with it as I was again by the side of the highway and I didn't want to risk another fall.

And that's when we get to the beauty part, albeit somewhat bittersweet due to the apparent inability of the camera to capture it.

Driving along the west coast of Italy along SS1 is one of the most gloriously beautiful visions I have ever seen and the road gives the finest motorcycle riding I have ever experienced.  Motorcycle riding isn't about how fast you can go as any idiot can do that but rather it's about how well you handle corners and there are millions of them on this road with the altitude changing constantly as you progress.  All the while there's what must be one of the most incredibly beautiful coastlines in the world beside you and it's unfolding while you ride.

It was saddening to me that I couldn't get you pictures of it but that trip is far from over as I don't really know where I am except that it's the Eden Park Campground and it's about twenty kilometers short of Imperia.  I will definitely make it to Sanremo tomorrow and there I hope to visit Busanna Vecchia.  All of this is along the coast on SS1 so there should be plenty more opportunities for photographs.  It's very important to me to share this and now I know I can as I played with the camera for a while and it's working again.  The fall really scrambled it but, after resetting some things, it started working perfectly again.  It's a cheap camera but Canon built it and Canon doesn't build junk!

Here is a picture from the Eden Park campground at San Bartolomeo, Italy:


This is the first and last picture of this kind as the tent is now gone and some stuff was busted off Haximoto when she went down.  Anyway, check out the gravel floor.  Sweet, huh!  Even with that, it was very cool there and I loved it.

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