The last article was bereft of any hideous and traumatizing profanity and, as even cursory examination of literature will reveal, profanity is often more highly effective to purpose than any other mode of expression. (Last article: Multi-Generational Time Travel in Strange for my Nephew)
So ...
Fuck it.
Hang on, darlin'. This is going to get crazy.
Transport yourself through time to a place far from here, that place about fifteen feet above the biggest indoor aquarium in the world for salt water fish, an aquarium for the biggest fucking sharks you ever saw in your life.
In Australia, there is only one kind of fish: sharks. They come in big sizes and they come in little sizes but all of them are sharks. Swimming in this gigantic aquarium are what appear to be representative specimens from all of these shark species and some of them are gigantic. There was even a species of shark which existed only within the Sydney Harbor ... and he was probably in there too ... lotta sharks, whole lotta sharks.
Sharks and rays, particularly manta rays, are no particular threat to each other so you can watch them from up here, all of those demon beasts as they cruise around an aquarium so big it could have been a swimming pool ... so long as you don't have any particular concern about being eaten as soon as your toes touch the water.
And that was the problem, see.
At this particular time, my ol' Dad was watching all these monsters from the safety of the balcony overlooking the aquarium. So were my ol' Mother and my brothers and sisters.
I, however, was not since I was currently being held out over the water by my ol' Dad. While I did not make any sound, this belied the thought in my head.
MUDDAFUGGA!! DO YOU KNOW THERE ARE BIG FUCKING SHARKS DOWN THERE!!!
Of course he did as maybe this will make me tough.
Hey, don't bust his ass too much. Like all of you have been Father of the Year all your lives. He was one crazy twisted mofo but who would ever have it any other way. He just had to be reminded sometimes ...
MUDDAFUGGA!! DO YOU KNOW THERE ARE BIG FUCKING SHARKS DOWN THERE!!!
So, snookums, how are you enjoying your trip to the Twilight Zone so far.
You're thinking that's the king hell crazy part? Noooo, that's not it, not yet.
If you should go to Australia and, miraculously, you are not eaten by a shark at Bondi Beach, your next thought will be that you must 'go outback' and maybe see Crocodile Dundee out there.
So, sure, let's do that. Enjoy the ride as there are two pick-up trucks belting across country where there is no road. The drivers are racing with each other and the back of the truck is full of cowboys plus Doc, my ol' Dad, and some camera crew people. They lived wild out here and this was 'out back' but you had to 'go walkabout' to get all the way there.
Note: that's another article
All around these pickup trucks there are kangaroos of all sizes and colors, jumping along in pace with it. Some of them were doing it with great, leaping bounds and some were bouncing like jackrabbits but they were all over the place. They were not at all threatened but rather they seemed to enjoy it. That's how things go out there.
A place considered suitable is discovered and my ol' Dad sends Doc and I off to some shade while he and the crew prepare whatever shot he intends. We had no idea of his intention as we were going outback and we would see kangaroos, lots of them ... and they're not in a zoo. No kid is going to pass on that.
Hold that vibe as it's a good one. Sometimes you will hear of 'teeming with life' and that's how it goes. The passage of these pickups and all those kangaroos stirs up the birds. They take flight in mad colors and all kinds of alert songs. It's hot and almost yellow from a naked, blazing sun but this is Australia, right out where it happens.
After waiting for a while, my ol' Dad summoned us to run back to the truck. We will film you as you come.
We did as requested and, after coming to the back of the pickup, we turned around to see what was on it.
DAD!! THERE IS A FUCKING BIG DEAD KANGAROO ON THE TAILGATE!!
He gestured back, more, keep it going.
This stumped Doc and I as we were light on the correct behavior for dealing with a fucking big dead kangaroo. There was nothing left but improvisation as the cameras kept rolling.
The 'roo had been recently shot so one of these cowboys was the perp but we weren't analyzing the forensics so much as we were trying to grab the basics.
DAD!! THERE IS A FUCKING BIG DEAD KANGAROO ON THE TAILGATE!!
There was the tender moment when I petted the fucking big dead kangaroo and that probably looked precious but mostly I probably wanted to discover if it was really dead. There can't really be a fucking big dead kangaroo in front of me. This cannot possibly be happening.
And these events were in the early days. Things were only starting to get weird.
(Ed: we're not going to be hearing true sexual confessions, are we??)
Hell, no.
(Ed: no suppressed memory?)
Nah. The only thing he ever said about sex was it's a disease. Can't say I disagree with him but that didn't really resolve the problem of ...
WHY DO WE THINK OF IT EVERY FUCKING SECOND???
(Ol' Dad: that's the disease part)
Well, thanks for that, ol' Dad ... and thanks for the kangaroos. You were one sick fuck but I love your crazy ass.
That was one side of my ol' Dad but he had more sides than that: Multi-Generational Time Travel in Strange for my Nephew (historical record) - Meet the elegant and stylish ol' Dad.
So ...
Fuck it.
Hang on, darlin'. This is going to get crazy.
Transport yourself through time to a place far from here, that place about fifteen feet above the biggest indoor aquarium in the world for salt water fish, an aquarium for the biggest fucking sharks you ever saw in your life.
In Australia, there is only one kind of fish: sharks. They come in big sizes and they come in little sizes but all of them are sharks. Swimming in this gigantic aquarium are what appear to be representative specimens from all of these shark species and some of them are gigantic. There was even a species of shark which existed only within the Sydney Harbor ... and he was probably in there too ... lotta sharks, whole lotta sharks.
Sharks and rays, particularly manta rays, are no particular threat to each other so you can watch them from up here, all of those demon beasts as they cruise around an aquarium so big it could have been a swimming pool ... so long as you don't have any particular concern about being eaten as soon as your toes touch the water.
And that was the problem, see.
At this particular time, my ol' Dad was watching all these monsters from the safety of the balcony overlooking the aquarium. So were my ol' Mother and my brothers and sisters.
I, however, was not since I was currently being held out over the water by my ol' Dad. While I did not make any sound, this belied the thought in my head.
MUDDAFUGGA!! DO YOU KNOW THERE ARE BIG FUCKING SHARKS DOWN THERE!!!
Of course he did as maybe this will make me tough.
Hey, don't bust his ass too much. Like all of you have been Father of the Year all your lives. He was one crazy twisted mofo but who would ever have it any other way. He just had to be reminded sometimes ...
MUDDAFUGGA!! DO YOU KNOW THERE ARE BIG FUCKING SHARKS DOWN THERE!!!
So, snookums, how are you enjoying your trip to the Twilight Zone so far.
You're thinking that's the king hell crazy part? Noooo, that's not it, not yet.
If you should go to Australia and, miraculously, you are not eaten by a shark at Bondi Beach, your next thought will be that you must 'go outback' and maybe see Crocodile Dundee out there.
So, sure, let's do that. Enjoy the ride as there are two pick-up trucks belting across country where there is no road. The drivers are racing with each other and the back of the truck is full of cowboys plus Doc, my ol' Dad, and some camera crew people. They lived wild out here and this was 'out back' but you had to 'go walkabout' to get all the way there.
Note: that's another article
All around these pickup trucks there are kangaroos of all sizes and colors, jumping along in pace with it. Some of them were doing it with great, leaping bounds and some were bouncing like jackrabbits but they were all over the place. They were not at all threatened but rather they seemed to enjoy it. That's how things go out there.
A place considered suitable is discovered and my ol' Dad sends Doc and I off to some shade while he and the crew prepare whatever shot he intends. We had no idea of his intention as we were going outback and we would see kangaroos, lots of them ... and they're not in a zoo. No kid is going to pass on that.
Hold that vibe as it's a good one. Sometimes you will hear of 'teeming with life' and that's how it goes. The passage of these pickups and all those kangaroos stirs up the birds. They take flight in mad colors and all kinds of alert songs. It's hot and almost yellow from a naked, blazing sun but this is Australia, right out where it happens.
After waiting for a while, my ol' Dad summoned us to run back to the truck. We will film you as you come.
We did as requested and, after coming to the back of the pickup, we turned around to see what was on it.
DAD!! THERE IS A FUCKING BIG DEAD KANGAROO ON THE TAILGATE!!
He gestured back, more, keep it going.
This stumped Doc and I as we were light on the correct behavior for dealing with a fucking big dead kangaroo. There was nothing left but improvisation as the cameras kept rolling.
The 'roo had been recently shot so one of these cowboys was the perp but we weren't analyzing the forensics so much as we were trying to grab the basics.
DAD!! THERE IS A FUCKING BIG DEAD KANGAROO ON THE TAILGATE!!
There was the tender moment when I petted the fucking big dead kangaroo and that probably looked precious but mostly I probably wanted to discover if it was really dead. There can't really be a fucking big dead kangaroo in front of me. This cannot possibly be happening.
And these events were in the early days. Things were only starting to get weird.
(Ed: we're not going to be hearing true sexual confessions, are we??)
Hell, no.
(Ed: no suppressed memory?)
Nah. The only thing he ever said about sex was it's a disease. Can't say I disagree with him but that didn't really resolve the problem of ...
WHY DO WE THINK OF IT EVERY FUCKING SECOND???
(Ol' Dad: that's the disease part)
Well, thanks for that, ol' Dad ... and thanks for the kangaroos. You were one sick fuck but I love your crazy ass.
That was one side of my ol' Dad but he had more sides than that: Multi-Generational Time Travel in Strange for my Nephew (historical record) - Meet the elegant and stylish ol' Dad.
No comments:
Post a Comment