There's more misery than can be delivered by a Martian dust storm flying through multiple lives just now and I am keenly aware I'm only one of them. In this situation, it's not only that I can go out and look at vast horizons but I must. We all need that.
For me, the focus shifts abruptly as if it's not music then it's not anything. There is no further interest in political matters because I've found the televised debates insulting and the media reaction to them cynical and patronizing (i.e. these yakking cows waste my time and it wastes your time if I moo whatever the yakking cows mooed).
(Ed: sexist pig)
Not at all, I'm a competence pig. I admire quality, integrity, and the ability to look at vast horizons, none of which I see in the talking heads on television. It's the same reason I criticize my music so harshly ... it must meet a standard I see rarely anywhere else and it's the same reason photographing orchids drew me. It's the pursuit of perfection, elegance, and subtle beauty which is so woefully absent in the tv-cultured, genteel masses and particularly what is served to us as truth.
Note: the above has nothing to do with comparison in any way with other musicians. All have the same struggle and all want the same thing, to play whatever it was we heard that got us doing it in the first place and hopefully play it in some new way.
Sorry if this sounds preachy but it's to myself as much as anyone else. The only conspiracy of any significance is one which is sucking all of us into a dark whirlpool. It makes all kinds of promises and we want to believe them even if that compromises what we set out to do. Getting hypnotized by the whirpool means leaving more and more things behind, things which never should have been left behind ... things like the old ways, the traditions, the music, the cooking and all the things which define a tribe and a people. These are the things to keep as nothing else matters until it becomes part of those ways.
Philosophy doesn't mean much when you're twenty but it means one hell of a lot when you're completely fucked. You're The Martian and now what will you do. The same situation exists for multiple of us so what will we do.
The purpose in continuing to make videos is, in part, to make a lesson which only comes from watching (i.e. this is my life and you're welcome to watch). I don't want to emphasize how difficult it is to do them but it needs to be understood to get the why of it because it's the only chance any of us have. No matter how completely screwed you are, there isn't any other choice, at least not one which will really work for you. If I'm not playing then I'm dying and the regulars know there is no exaggeration in that.
I have not abandoned anyone even if it may seem so. When Barbie threw me out, I felt abandoned and walked away. I never spoke with her again and now it's too late. I do understand abandonment and have for quite a while. I've been feeling quite a bit of abandonment but that lesson burned hard and I have no intention to abandon anyone.
It does no good to tell you music is the answer if you don't play but perhaps mine is something to hear while you think of what your answer may be. There's no way I can know what it was to motivate you to do whatever you do in your life but I do know there's only one direction to steer when things start disintegrating and that's the same one you chose at the beginning. This isn't about bucket lists and fantasies but about life. All I can do is show anyone that I work maybe even harder than I ever did to achieve mine. When everything else breaks, it's the only thing left but it's an excellent thing to keep.
At the end of the "Hey Baby - Lasers" video it says we have nothing else to give but love ... but neither does anyone, not really.
For me, the focus shifts abruptly as if it's not music then it's not anything. There is no further interest in political matters because I've found the televised debates insulting and the media reaction to them cynical and patronizing (i.e. these yakking cows waste my time and it wastes your time if I moo whatever the yakking cows mooed).
(Ed: sexist pig)
Not at all, I'm a competence pig. I admire quality, integrity, and the ability to look at vast horizons, none of which I see in the talking heads on television. It's the same reason I criticize my music so harshly ... it must meet a standard I see rarely anywhere else and it's the same reason photographing orchids drew me. It's the pursuit of perfection, elegance, and subtle beauty which is so woefully absent in the tv-cultured, genteel masses and particularly what is served to us as truth.
Note: the above has nothing to do with comparison in any way with other musicians. All have the same struggle and all want the same thing, to play whatever it was we heard that got us doing it in the first place and hopefully play it in some new way.
Sorry if this sounds preachy but it's to myself as much as anyone else. The only conspiracy of any significance is one which is sucking all of us into a dark whirlpool. It makes all kinds of promises and we want to believe them even if that compromises what we set out to do. Getting hypnotized by the whirpool means leaving more and more things behind, things which never should have been left behind ... things like the old ways, the traditions, the music, the cooking and all the things which define a tribe and a people. These are the things to keep as nothing else matters until it becomes part of those ways.
Philosophy doesn't mean much when you're twenty but it means one hell of a lot when you're completely fucked. You're The Martian and now what will you do. The same situation exists for multiple of us so what will we do.
The purpose in continuing to make videos is, in part, to make a lesson which only comes from watching (i.e. this is my life and you're welcome to watch). I don't want to emphasize how difficult it is to do them but it needs to be understood to get the why of it because it's the only chance any of us have. No matter how completely screwed you are, there isn't any other choice, at least not one which will really work for you. If I'm not playing then I'm dying and the regulars know there is no exaggeration in that.
I have not abandoned anyone even if it may seem so. When Barbie threw me out, I felt abandoned and walked away. I never spoke with her again and now it's too late. I do understand abandonment and have for quite a while. I've been feeling quite a bit of abandonment but that lesson burned hard and I have no intention to abandon anyone.
It does no good to tell you music is the answer if you don't play but perhaps mine is something to hear while you think of what your answer may be. There's no way I can know what it was to motivate you to do whatever you do in your life but I do know there's only one direction to steer when things start disintegrating and that's the same one you chose at the beginning. This isn't about bucket lists and fantasies but about life. All I can do is show anyone that I work maybe even harder than I ever did to achieve mine. When everything else breaks, it's the only thing left but it's an excellent thing to keep.
At the end of the "Hey Baby - Lasers" video it says we have nothing else to give but love ... but neither does anyone, not really.
2 comments:
Very well written, as always.
Thanks. Unsure if writing gets me out of the whirlpool or deeper into it but I have no doubt about music.
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