Do Believe Silas Will Fight

Yevette got me over to a hospital this morning but it fooled both of us and was not VA.  She had her own medical appt and had to go back to Fort Worth.  Even if I could have called her, she could not have come so that leaves one option:  hoof it.

My ability to hoof anything is minimal and nothing reminded me of that more keenly than this morning.  I've never been anywhere near downtown Dallas before and I had no idea where it was.

So, there I was in the middle of Dallas, little endurance for walking, and little money.

There's no way anyone can come and I have no phone so I could not call anyone anyway.

So, hoof it, tough guy.

From that I learned, Dallas isn't a city but rather a car park.  There are no telephones anywhere; there are very few benches and they always have bars to prevent lying down; there are no gas stations; there is only concrete and glass and other homeless people wandering.

I walked so far I even found an Interstate which goes back to Fort Worth.  I stood on the overpass for a while and thought, just fookin' jump.  How long will you continue the misery.

Apparently I'm not finished yet because I did keep walking, from one bench to the next or to whatever else I could use to keep standing.

Weak?  Bullshit.  Let's see you pull that strength in the same situation.  That's one of the few redeeming things of the day for own satisfaction that I didn't give up.  There wasn't anyone in the Universe who knew where I was and there is no way to call anyone so you walk or you roll over and die.  There's a lot less hyperbole in that than it may seem but it doesn't serve any good purpose to throw the whole litany at you.

And, yah, I want you to show that same strength.  The other choice is a box.  You will feel a lot like you can't do it but the box is your only other choice so you keep putting one foot out there even if sometimes you wobble right of left.

I finally spotted a cab and shuffled over to him, hoping he wouldn't split before I got there.

I asked him if he had an idea what it would cost to get the Dallas VA Hospital.  He said he had no idea but there was a car behind him so he would pull over just ahead and we could take it from there.

Well, he took it from there as he started pulling over ... and then he split.

So keep on putting one foot out there.  And you smile at everyone you see but you don't ask for anything because we're all screwed and they know it and they smile back.  We have different rules down here.

(Ed:  is there a beauty part coming or is this all weeps??)

It's an outstanding beauty part.  Hopefully you will roll with the intro which is a bit (cough) extended.

The wandering continued and I ran into some more guys cleaning some windows.  Fortunately, they were on the ground at the time so I asked of them, any idea where I can find the hospital.  One guy said it is in Lancaster and I told him I know it's in Dallas, on the North side of town.  He said Lancaster is a part of Dallas but it's on the South side.

Don't go freaking on a silent stroke as I haven't burned any circuits or no more than normal but this is stress at the Outer Limits.  This was the second time I had blown a cardiac stress test and I had no idea what would happen if I ever actually found my way to the hospital although there was nowhere else I knew ... so you put one foot out there ...

These guys were cool and this is exactly the same as my Euro style.  If you bring the manners, people will join right in with them.  Charm works just the same on men ... wtf ... you're not trying to screw 'em.

That let me know where I needed to go, sort of, and I was still thinking maybe I can get out there for forty dollars.  If that doesn't work then hitchhike.  It was legal so long as you don't get on the actual Interstate (i.e. it's legal where the on-ramp starts but not beyond).  That may no longer be true but that was Plan B if the cab didn't work.

We need to continue the intro to Anthony because after I had walked and walked and walked some more, I saw Cowboy Cab by the side of the road.  I was surprised to find anyone in it because it wasn't a taxi stand but might as well ask.

Excuse me, please ... yah and wait until the cat acknowledges, don't just say that and keep blathering.

I told him I don't have much money and I'm wondering what it would cost to get to the Dallas VA hospital.  I'm condensing this a bit as he said he thought about thirty dollars.  That was three fourths of my fortune but I was immediately willing.  Let's ride.

Not long on the way, Anthony said he can do it for twenty-five and I'm deeply thankful.  Five bucks counts.  Condensation part.  When we got to VA, I said please take thirty as it's strongly possible you just saved my life.

He wouldn't do it.  That's how things are down here.  If anyone ever needs a cab in Dallas, TX, you call Cowboy Cab and ask for Anthony, you hear?  I'm serious.  The man is aces.  If you don't think so, read that part again.

It's uphill from the drop-off to the Entrance and I didn't reckon on that so well so I was gassed all over again by the time I got in there ... but ... that's the Wizard of Oz moment.

No-one at VA complains about anything and people always smile as much as they can.  These are the best people I've ever known in my life and damn sure the toughest.  The consideration people show for each other out there may be like something you have never experienced before.  This is a fraternity with men and women, all equal, everyone is equal, equal isn't even something which matters at VA.  In my experience, the Army is the least racist organization of any I've ever seen.

The contrast to the rampaging anger everywhere else at the level of the Wizard of Oz because I never hear any anger out there, ever.  These people have more right to be angry than anyone as you see young soldiers with limbs blown away and it's horrifying ... but I see them thirty or forty years later, some much younger.  The horror is much more than you may know as most abandon the prosthetics and go to wheelchairs.  I have not asked because I'm not sure if it would be an offensive question but I imagine the reason is the prosthetics are too hard after a certain age.

Note:  that is not as grim as it may seem as cybernetic nerve to computer linkages are developing and the sophistication of prostheses increases extraordinarily quickly.


Briefly on the bullshit part ... I expected there would not be a possibility of doing the stress test today and how could they because, by that time, I was at least three hours late.  There were willing to give it one more shot as it must have been obvious how much I had been through to get there ... soaked with sweat, blah, blah.

The big bust was on presentation to the Dermatology clinic, they said they could do nothing without authorization from the primary physician.  I told him, man, I'm here because the primary was going to set up a dermatology appt but did not do it.  He insisted they cannot move without that authorization.

I made sure to tell him, man, I'm not angry with you.  It's a bad situation but that's not your fault.

So that was a scratch and that's a huge drag because it means bumper tag.  No need for that here.


Now to find a way back.  I've got fifteen bucks so no chance of a taxi to Fort Worth for that when it was twenty-five off-the-meter to get to VA.

That's when I spotted the Silver Bullet.  Unknown if anyone calls it that and it's not all silver anyway, that's just the impression I had.  Turns out that's the Blue Line to get to downtown Dallas.  I was willing to try it because I figured from there I would find some way to get to Fort Worth.

But I couldn't hack it and went back to the hospital with the thinking, boy, you've got to see someone to find out what's happening.  This was not in regard to the biopsy but rather something else.  Walking back up the hill would gas me so I would sit anywhere I possibly could to recuperate a bit.

Then I would get thinking, if they admit you then you won't get back out again.  I'm not going to justify that with medical detail but it's not as extreme as it sounds.


So that loop continued three or four times, getting closer to the station for the Silver Bullet each time.  On maybe the third time, I made it there and even got a ticket.  There were two cops specifically for that station and I thought that was odd but they were pleasant and the girl one was extremely helpful in using the ticket-ordering machine.

From the cop standpoint, I'm the Invisible Man because I don't know anything about Dallas and I have no idea what I need from this machine because I'm really not sure what it can do.


So, here's another beauty part.

The girl cop asks if I'm over-65 (with her eyes saying you like you are ninety).  I shrug and say, two weeks.  She shrugs as well and pushes the button.

Here's bingo bango beauty part:  the price was $2.50.

She had told me the ticket would get me all the way back to Fort Worth and I was flabbergasted at the price so I asked again, all the way to Fort Worth with this ticket and that train?

She said, sure but you transfer at Union Station.  There you can pick up the TRE (I think) and that's a full-size locomotive to pull a different train over to Fort Worth ITC (Intermodal Transfer Center!).

For $2.50!  Well ...


I had no idea what I would do when I got to this ITC but it would be much less likely I would freeze to death in a park overnight.  Tallyho.

The Silver Bullet stage of the ride is the subway system for Dallas with a blue line, a red line, etc for the different routes.  That one is smooth, fast, and highly modern.  The train from Dallas to Fort Woth is a tad different and the rails are dangerous.  The train lurched precipitously at times, something I never felt on a Euro train, and I looked about the car but no-one paid attention to it.

I really lucked out on the train as serendipity played well on that one.  I had missed the bullet for which I had the ticket because, while sitting there, it came ... you need some help.  So ... trundle back up to VA.  Get sick.  Sit for a while and think, nope, I am not getting admitted today ... and let's hike back down to the Bullet.

This time I made it and the transfer to the Big Loco went in only a few minutes due to the luck of the schedules.

So, arriving at the Fort Worth ITC, we discover loads of buses and I had no idea which route to take, I just knew I was not going to stay here.


And then another bingo bango beauty part.  I see a bus (46 route) with a name I know and figure, hey, it's worth a shot and that did work out.  The beauty part is the same ticket I bought back in Dallas was also good for this bus.

The walk back to the house from the bus stop was a crusher as the hill, from my perspective, is about the steepest I can climb.  I was sick as a rat when I got back here and who knows what did it as I had eaten almost nothing and had almost nothing to drink.  Nevertheless, everything internal must become external as quickly as possible.  There are two highly-effective mechanisms for accomplishing that so I enjoyed that for a time.


It's now about an hour since that settled down and things de-stress enough to put this together.  The saga from first starting this morning to getting back here ran about eleven hours, maybe more.

Um, no, I won't be rolling Gloria Gaynor although she says it best.

Hey ... why not: