Disclaimer: there is live cancer in me and discussion is as dispassionate as I can manage in a situation which is sometimes brutal. My hope from these articles is they provide some help in dealing with such situations in your own ways. I had been omitting the disclaimer sometimes previously but it may well serve a good purpose.
A large array of the heavy medicine arrived today and this is yet another example of the responsiveness of Heartland since the in-home hospice care started only a few days ago. That in-home hospice is even available may be useful for you to know since I wasn't aware of it until I ended up in this situation.
The preference with just about anyone with death is to do it at home and it's a tremendous comfort when I'm a mutt who hasn't had a home in years but Agent Y has done everything possible to ensure this one feels like mine.
Note: the Regulars already know her by another name but that one is too close to real in some ways and I won't blow anonymity for anyone.
The dose of morphine jumps significantly from about 45 mg per day to 120 mg but this is accompanied by an anti-nausea med. I talked with Nurse Wendy earlier and told her Agent Y had quite a bit of trouble with anti-nausea meds until the medicos found one which worked for her since anti-nausea drugs can be inherently nauseating as much as the morphine. Nurse Wendy said the prescription may need some tweaking and that works since well it might need just that.
I told Nurse Wendy of my deep concerns in escalating the dose so much but she was emphatic that I'll need it and definitely do not split the tabs since that will defeat the timed-release aspect. My deepest concern throughout has been the disruption to any cognition but the simpatico with Nurse Wendy is good and she's aware in my Universe any failure in cognitive process is the same as death.
Being productive is enormously important to me and as much for the fulfillment for me in the expression of articles but it also allows me to stay in your lives, bugging the bejeebers out of you as has been my previous wont to do.
Zen Yogi: is that the same as your M.O.?
Identical, furry buddy.
Anti-anxiety medication is part of the package and it's odd since it's liquid but I understand the administration; it's just a little weird. It's a definite possibility this will reduce smoking which increased to some extent as a consequence of the circumstance. The lunacy of smoking anything is obvious but that's the power of one of the most addictive drugs on the planet. Don't ever screw with the cigarettes since you need to be a Paul Bunyan bad ass to shake them off and I never managed it.
There's something of an inventory of required daily medicines but it wouldn't be sensible or prudent to review all of them. The number of such medicines has nearly tripled with this but don't be too shocked since I was only taking three originally or four if you count the quasi-legal morphine I had been taking. All of that is a bit daunting and ...
Zen Yogi: don't be British about it
OK, mate, it's fucking terrifying but it's still cool insofar as it's all required for the regimen and my own pep talk to myself is you've got to master this.
Zen Yogi: what about the Pilgrims who come?
I refuse to be a blob of blubbering meat with no obvious sensibilities remaining when they're here. That would make it much more painful for them when my anticipation is it's a time of peace for all of us for new beginnings in many ways. That's the last thing I ever want to throw away.
Zen Yogi: it's your last gift or last possibility of one?
Truly.
I'm not afraid of death and the spiritual basis is in another article on which I did not use the #Blotto tag because it's more personal and directed than these types of articles. (Ithaka: My Apologies to the One Who Knows)
I am a'feared of being a useless blob on a bunk and inevitably that will come but not just yet. Nurse Wendy said it will take two weeks to get accustomed to this stuff so that should accommodate the Pilgrims. There's no feat of daring in refusing a fear of death since I won't even be aware of it due to the Exit Plan glide path.
The basis for the absence of fear is in the My Apologies article and it may be useful to you in managing your own Exit Plan. Something I can definitely promise is there's peace in being completely sure of your faith, whatever it may be. That some regard mine as looney is fine since the only salient aspect to it is the relevance in my own life.
The new regimen will go into effect at seven p.m. or so since the sync with the Ithaka daily reset is the start of the day already. It may sound crazy but not so much since my life has focused increasingly on Ithaka as other things were slip-slidin' away. It would also be cool to see Ithaka pop past a million reads and for no practical reason whatsoever.
Posting #Blotto updates as effects reveal themselves strikes me as counterproductive and premature. Much better to wait until the new cycle for the day so the report is informative rather than tentative. It's not at all useful to scream out early in the day, holy shit, this stuff is a nightmare only to report later, well, it's stabilized now.
Zen Yogi: no, no, on early posting. That's not sexy.
No, Yogi, that's not sexy at all.
Ref: Bronson Pinchot in "Beverly Hills Cop."
Although likely shocking, the situation remains copacetic even when things took a punch earlier with nausea. I learn how to do this as I go along and quite a bit of learning is coming but I can hack it.
Zen Yogi: can you?
Roger that, Yogi. There are multiple reasons.
Zen Yogi: does that make a difference?
There's no way to know, furry buddy, but there's no chance they detract from anything.
Much love to you all.
A large array of the heavy medicine arrived today and this is yet another example of the responsiveness of Heartland since the in-home hospice care started only a few days ago. That in-home hospice is even available may be useful for you to know since I wasn't aware of it until I ended up in this situation.
The preference with just about anyone with death is to do it at home and it's a tremendous comfort when I'm a mutt who hasn't had a home in years but Agent Y has done everything possible to ensure this one feels like mine.
Note: the Regulars already know her by another name but that one is too close to real in some ways and I won't blow anonymity for anyone.
The dose of morphine jumps significantly from about 45 mg per day to 120 mg but this is accompanied by an anti-nausea med. I talked with Nurse Wendy earlier and told her Agent Y had quite a bit of trouble with anti-nausea meds until the medicos found one which worked for her since anti-nausea drugs can be inherently nauseating as much as the morphine. Nurse Wendy said the prescription may need some tweaking and that works since well it might need just that.
I told Nurse Wendy of my deep concerns in escalating the dose so much but she was emphatic that I'll need it and definitely do not split the tabs since that will defeat the timed-release aspect. My deepest concern throughout has been the disruption to any cognition but the simpatico with Nurse Wendy is good and she's aware in my Universe any failure in cognitive process is the same as death.
Being productive is enormously important to me and as much for the fulfillment for me in the expression of articles but it also allows me to stay in your lives, bugging the bejeebers out of you as has been my previous wont to do.
Zen Yogi: is that the same as your M.O.?
Identical, furry buddy.
Anti-anxiety medication is part of the package and it's odd since it's liquid but I understand the administration; it's just a little weird. It's a definite possibility this will reduce smoking which increased to some extent as a consequence of the circumstance. The lunacy of smoking anything is obvious but that's the power of one of the most addictive drugs on the planet. Don't ever screw with the cigarettes since you need to be a Paul Bunyan bad ass to shake them off and I never managed it.
There's something of an inventory of required daily medicines but it wouldn't be sensible or prudent to review all of them. The number of such medicines has nearly tripled with this but don't be too shocked since I was only taking three originally or four if you count the quasi-legal morphine I had been taking. All of that is a bit daunting and ...
Zen Yogi: don't be British about it
OK, mate, it's fucking terrifying but it's still cool insofar as it's all required for the regimen and my own pep talk to myself is you've got to master this.
Zen Yogi: what about the Pilgrims who come?
I refuse to be a blob of blubbering meat with no obvious sensibilities remaining when they're here. That would make it much more painful for them when my anticipation is it's a time of peace for all of us for new beginnings in many ways. That's the last thing I ever want to throw away.
Zen Yogi: it's your last gift or last possibility of one?
Truly.
I'm not afraid of death and the spiritual basis is in another article on which I did not use the #Blotto tag because it's more personal and directed than these types of articles. (Ithaka: My Apologies to the One Who Knows)
I am a'feared of being a useless blob on a bunk and inevitably that will come but not just yet. Nurse Wendy said it will take two weeks to get accustomed to this stuff so that should accommodate the Pilgrims. There's no feat of daring in refusing a fear of death since I won't even be aware of it due to the Exit Plan glide path.
The basis for the absence of fear is in the My Apologies article and it may be useful to you in managing your own Exit Plan. Something I can definitely promise is there's peace in being completely sure of your faith, whatever it may be. That some regard mine as looney is fine since the only salient aspect to it is the relevance in my own life.
The new regimen will go into effect at seven p.m. or so since the sync with the Ithaka daily reset is the start of the day already. It may sound crazy but not so much since my life has focused increasingly on Ithaka as other things were slip-slidin' away. It would also be cool to see Ithaka pop past a million reads and for no practical reason whatsoever.
Posting #Blotto updates as effects reveal themselves strikes me as counterproductive and premature. Much better to wait until the new cycle for the day so the report is informative rather than tentative. It's not at all useful to scream out early in the day, holy shit, this stuff is a nightmare only to report later, well, it's stabilized now.
Zen Yogi: no, no, on early posting. That's not sexy.
No, Yogi, that's not sexy at all.
Ref: Bronson Pinchot in "Beverly Hills Cop."
Although likely shocking, the situation remains copacetic even when things took a punch earlier with nausea. I learn how to do this as I go along and quite a bit of learning is coming but I can hack it.
Zen Yogi: can you?
Roger that, Yogi. There are multiple reasons.
Zen Yogi: does that make a difference?
There's no way to know, furry buddy, but there's no chance they detract from anything.
Much love to you all.
No comments:
Post a Comment