There are some big fuckin' rats in Fort Worth, Texas.
Zen Yogi: why is that, Silas?
There's a Statehouse full of Republicans in Austin which is not far from here so a rat explosion was inevitable.
Zen Yogi: how big are these rats, Silas?
The last one was so big he looked like the Rat Terminator, Yogi.
Zen Yogi: I thought you terminated him
I did as I mercilessly squeezed the rat life out of him while he looked at me with his beady rat eyes. I was a minister of death and it's one more reason I will burn.
He was stuck in an industrial strength rat trap and it shows you his size when it didn't even knock him out. The trap got a good hit but it wasn't enough to whack him.
Zen Yogi: big fuckin' rat
Yah
So we ask why there is a growing number of rat invasions when there's almost nothing for them to eat, and we come to the inevitable conclusion, yep, it was the Lord of the Rats, the one and only Ronald Reagan.
The federal government wasn’t always silent on rats. From 1969 to 1982, the Center for Disease Control awarded cities grants under what was known as the Urban Rat Control program, championed by then-President Lyndon Johnson. The program started small, servicing only 19 communities across the country, but eventually grew to serve 65 communities with an annual budget of $13 million, which was matched by state and local governments. While the program did experience some hiccups, it was widely considered successful. Quoting the CDC, the Associated Press reported in 1982: “As a result of the efforts, 7.7 million people now live in rat-free, environmentally improved neighborhoods.”
But President Ronald Reagan eliminated the program, saying the rat problem should be dealt with by individual states. That irked former CDC Director of Environmental Health William Houk, who told United Press International at the time that the program was “one of the more worthwhile projects of the federal government.” Reagan’s decision to cut it, Houk said, “is a classic example of the government doing something with the people instead of for them.”
New Republic: America Is on the Verge of Ratpocalypse
As always happens when the White House plays that skanky gambit, the states don't deal with the problem and one more service evaporates. Welcome to Three Card Monty, Republican style. Donald Trump is playing it again now.
Zen Yogi: Ratpocalypse? Journalism schools are now using Stan Lee as an inspiration for the news?
That one was a beauty, wasn't it.
Zen Yogi: will you have on your marker, "Journalists suck?"
I was thinking more like, "The secret is with the cat which is only visible in the light from the full Seventh Moon."
Zen Yogi: I think you watch too much Indiana Jones
I don't but they do. Someone will think it's a clue to the treasure and go off looking for the cat.
Zen Yogi: no way
Definitely way since some novelist wrote a book with some kind of puzzle and whomever solves it and finds the thing will bathe in the big bucks. At least two or three people have died in accidents while they went off looking for it and they didn't even know if it's real.
Zen Yogi: it sounds like this could stir up quite a few cat hunters
It must might.
Zen Yogi: why do that?
It's just my little practical joke on these fat ass lazy Texas cats who never seem to manage to catch a rat.
Zen Yogi: that's heinous, Silas
I'm sure some tiny part of me is deeply ashamed, Yogi.
Zen Yogi: why is that, Silas?
There's a Statehouse full of Republicans in Austin which is not far from here so a rat explosion was inevitable.
Zen Yogi: how big are these rats, Silas?
The last one was so big he looked like the Rat Terminator, Yogi.
Zen Yogi: I thought you terminated him
I did as I mercilessly squeezed the rat life out of him while he looked at me with his beady rat eyes. I was a minister of death and it's one more reason I will burn.
He was stuck in an industrial strength rat trap and it shows you his size when it didn't even knock him out. The trap got a good hit but it wasn't enough to whack him.
Zen Yogi: big fuckin' rat
Yah
So we ask why there is a growing number of rat invasions when there's almost nothing for them to eat, and we come to the inevitable conclusion, yep, it was the Lord of the Rats, the one and only Ronald Reagan.
The federal government wasn’t always silent on rats. From 1969 to 1982, the Center for Disease Control awarded cities grants under what was known as the Urban Rat Control program, championed by then-President Lyndon Johnson. The program started small, servicing only 19 communities across the country, but eventually grew to serve 65 communities with an annual budget of $13 million, which was matched by state and local governments. While the program did experience some hiccups, it was widely considered successful. Quoting the CDC, the Associated Press reported in 1982: “As a result of the efforts, 7.7 million people now live in rat-free, environmentally improved neighborhoods.”
But President Ronald Reagan eliminated the program, saying the rat problem should be dealt with by individual states. That irked former CDC Director of Environmental Health William Houk, who told United Press International at the time that the program was “one of the more worthwhile projects of the federal government.” Reagan’s decision to cut it, Houk said, “is a classic example of the government doing something with the people instead of for them.”
New Republic: America Is on the Verge of Ratpocalypse
As always happens when the White House plays that skanky gambit, the states don't deal with the problem and one more service evaporates. Welcome to Three Card Monty, Republican style. Donald Trump is playing it again now.
Zen Yogi: Ratpocalypse? Journalism schools are now using Stan Lee as an inspiration for the news?
That one was a beauty, wasn't it.
Zen Yogi: will you have on your marker, "Journalists suck?"
I was thinking more like, "The secret is with the cat which is only visible in the light from the full Seventh Moon."
Zen Yogi: I think you watch too much Indiana Jones
I don't but they do. Someone will think it's a clue to the treasure and go off looking for the cat.
Zen Yogi: no way
Definitely way since some novelist wrote a book with some kind of puzzle and whomever solves it and finds the thing will bathe in the big bucks. At least two or three people have died in accidents while they went off looking for it and they didn't even know if it's real.
Zen Yogi: it sounds like this could stir up quite a few cat hunters
It must might.
Zen Yogi: why do that?
It's just my little practical joke on these fat ass lazy Texas cats who never seem to manage to catch a rat.
Zen Yogi: that's heinous, Silas
I'm sure some tiny part of me is deeply ashamed, Yogi.
No comments:
Post a Comment