The Russian Bear Babes Broke Zen Yogi's Tender Heart

The Russian Bear Babes left Zen Yogi and you knew it was going to happen, right?

Zen Yogi:  how did you know it would happen, Silas?

Your ego was expanding like a hot-air balloon, my furry bear buddy.

Zen Yogi:  that's a problem?

It does seem so, mate, particularly when now you're sitting on the side of a bridge.

Zen Yogi:  too melodramatic?

A bit too, Yogi.


Zen Yogi:  she said she loved me, Silas

Sooner or later, someone will, Yogi.

Zen Yogi:  sure but then she stole my pic-a-nic basket

So what, Yogi, steal another one.

Zen Yogi:  my wallet was in it, Silas.  Now I'm getting invoices from every webcam girl in Nebraska.

Why Nebraska, Yogi?

Zen Yogi:  what else is there to do in Nebraska


Zen Yogi:  I'm broken-hearted and don't know what I should do

My first suggestion is we get the fuck off this bridge if that would be alright.

You need to find yourself a nice Bear Babe.

Zen Yogi:  is this the speech for somewhere there's a bear for everyone?

It's good you know it already.

There's a bear for us, 
Somewhere a bear for us. 
Peace and quiet and lots of sex 
Waits for us 
Somewhere.

- Alfred

Zen Yogi:  that sounds like a three-way, Silas

I'm not Alfred and I'm definitely not us.

There's a Bear Babe for you, Yogi.

Zen Yogi:  how do I find her then?

Keep stealing pic-a-nic baskets until you see a Bear Babe doing it too.  Right away you know you have something in common and bear romance happens.

Zen Yogi:  this is Zen Love for Bear Babes?

That's the sermon, Yogi.