Saturday, August 19, 2017

When Your Doctor Says Have More Orgasms and She Means It

Pro tip No. 1:  when it's necessary to be told you ought to have more orgasms, you are one mosquito wing away from a flatline already.

News.au:  Why my doctor told me to orgasm more

Pro tip No. 2:  if you need to know the health benefits before considering more orgasms, you may already be flatlining.

Pro tip No. 3:  will any of these journos consider learning the language since orgasm is not a fucking verb; it is a noun related to fucking or whatever other deviance amuses you.



Carly’s doctor told her she needed to orgasm more.

Carly Portch news.com.au

Of course you're believing that's a picture of Cathy, right?


So I was excited to see a woman doctor come towards me beaming. I felt stupid as I sat down and realised I had no real reason for being there but I explained that I just wanted a check-up, she seemed totally on board with it.

She did all the medical stuff first, checking everything, and then we spoke about how my work hours in breakfast radio have left me feeling sluggish. I also briefly mentioned that I had felt a bit stressed recently and had bad period pain. What she said next made me raise an eyebrow.

She looked at me and said you should try to have more orgasms.

I was shocked!

- News.au


Zen Yogi:  that's pitiful, Silas

I'm tellin' you, buddy.  She's so desperate to be a writer she comes up with this crap and even tries to make it dramatic.

Zen Yogi:  bears don't need to be told to have more orgasms, Silas

That's because bears don't have crazy magazines, Yogi.


It gets worse, Yogi, since she goes on and on about all the health benefits of having orgasms.

Zen Yogi:  who gives a rip about health benefits since orgasms are justified because ... orgasms

I see your logic even when you have no logic at all and you're right.  Believe every sperm is sacred as you like but some of those little fuckers are going to get spilled as soon as possible.

Zen Yogi:  that's it, Silas.  Do your bit for debauchery.

My bit for debauchery may be a little past prime or, more accurately, the most debauching lately has been writing about the Russian Bear Babes.

Zen Yogi:  you're a wicked man, Silas


Zen Yogi:  it sounds like Cathy will be the world's champion Twizzler Fizzler when she starts talking about sex and aerobics with her squeeze

Libido will run faster than Ulain Bolt, Yogi.

Zen Yogi:  these are the same ones who worry about the birth rate declining?

Well, probably not these ones since it sounds like this lot needs defibrillators before doing anything at all.

Zen Yogi:  maybe consider life which doesn't have a screen on it?

May be too much Zen for them, mate.


Zen Yogi:  is it time for the Sex & Ganja Party to go back to the campaign trail, Silas?

It may be, Yogi.  I had been thinking not again this year but they just don't get it.  When they have to be told to have orgasms, they show the most need for some primo ganja since Cheech and Chong.


The Sex & Ganja Party

because

We Give You What You Really Fuckin' Want

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