Monday, May 15, 2017

Two Important Things When Teaching the Flock About Jesus Walking on Water

The first of the Important Things to know about educating your flock on how Jesus walked on water is to understand only Jesus could do it.

The second of the Important Things, should you ignore the first, is to ensure the water on which you will walk is not full of crocodiles.

If you ignore that Important Thing as well, you're going to end up in Metro.  (Metro:  Pastor trying to prove how Jesus walked on water gets eaten by crocodile)

A pastor was eaten by a crocodile in Zimbabwe (Picture: Getty)

The pastor, from the Saint of the Last Days church, managed to get around 90ft into the river, the paper reported, before trying to climb onto the surface of the river.

Eyewitness Deacon Nkosi told Zimbabwe Today: ‘The pastor taught us about faith on Sunday last week.

- Metro

Say there, Brother Nkosi, what would you say you learned about faith last week?

‘He promised he would demonstrate his faith to us today, but he unfortunately ended up drowning and getting eaten by three large crocodiles in front of us.

‘We still don’t understand how this happened because he fasted and prayed the whole week. They finished him in a couple of minutes.

- Metro

Ah, so you didn't learn anything about faith (i.e. crocodiles will eat you regardless of your faith).

They did learn a little about reality, however.

‘All that was left of him when they finished eating him was a pair of sandals and his underwear floating above the water.’

- Metro

Well, thank God those crocs at least left that much, huh?

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