Tuesday, May 16, 2017

First, There Was the Skyline Chili; Second, There Was the Orange Dreamsicle Ice Cream

My personal feeling about Orange Dreamsicle ice cream is it should have been left in the Fifties but Yevette likes the flavor so finding that in ice cream was big win.  There's also been half a can of Skyline Chili and I've wondered when she might be able to hack it.

She loved it so functioning is not yet fully optimal but it progresses apace.


Although it wouldn't be too bad if I really lived in the twisted dream world some may imagine, reality is a scan in a couple of weeks and that will tell it.


Ganja did not play into this except insofar as it may have helped me bring calmness to Yevette and it must have been doing that with me given the horrifying circumstance.

Yevette did not smoke the ganja and thought she was nauseated by it but I'm thinking more that it was tobacco.  The ganja here is quite strong so I really don't smoke that much of it but any smoker can blast through fags all day long.  Simply in terms of volume, I'm disinclined to think ganja can compete and she said she was feeling nauseated even when I had not smoked any ganja for a long while (i.e. hours).

The windows are open to draw in the best part of Texas in the Spring so I doubt anything will linger in the air for too long.  Whenever I used the fogger, it would smoke out the whole house but opening the windows would flush that out again relatively quickly.

Note:  the fogger uses a water-based fog juice and, unlike oil-based fog which hangs low to the floor, it is not toxic.

Also the best of Texas is daytime 90F and nighttime 70F.  At 90F, it is starting to get a bit warm and A.C. comes soon but not yet.  If the humidity goes Cincinnati down here then the A.C. would be required but right now it's not.  Humidity sucked the same in Rhode Island so it's not just that Midwest Dristan Valley where your sinuses will explode.  Head Southwest and your sinuses will love you for it.


Heavy narcotics have been involved and it's a comfort to see Yevette pushing that stuff away now as she can.  There's no coercion from me but I did ask midway, "This is some seriously heavy shit.  Are you on top of it?"

She said she was and there's been no reason to second-guess her so it's a comfort seeing anything of that nature pushing away just like the Monster.

Note:  Fentanyl was fired almost immediately since it made her sick as a rat.  I would have been happy if it helped her but it didn't and I'm glad it's gone.


Yevette does seem to be on a stable trajectory and maybe I use rocket words because it's still overwhelming for wtf just happened?  The answer is obvious but WTF?


Some of you know what it means to scarf down some Skyline Chili.  If you can hold that down without anything exploding, you're ready for the epicurean Super Bowl.  She did.  Yahoo!


There hasn't been any particular spiritual consternation in terms of why did this happen; why does this happen to me.  The approach to the entire time has been highly pragmatic and that's been a comfort as well since I can explain but the need for the explanation reveals a bigger problem ... which did not happen.

There has been strong emotion and it's unwarranted to reveal how that manifested but I can tell you an embarrassing situation in my life which shows the basis.

I hadn't cracked even after being busted to shit on the Harley.  That didn't happen at all until a time after since I couldn't leave the sofa so I had to use a bottle for relief.  Since I couldn't move that much, the bottle went to one side of the sofa after use.  Inevitably, there was a mistake and I knocked it over, spilling it.

Instant crack and bring on the tears.  I.Can.Not.Take.This.Any.More.

Note:  that happened because I was alone a lot and that is NO fault of the Mystery Lady but rather it was emphatic that she must not drop out of her schoolwork for a degree in nursing.  I'm proud to say she did not.

I know how it is for Yevette and it rolls in whatever way it must so she can take it to the end.  Her determination was high so she made it one whole hell of a lot easier but every so often there's a moment like when I knocked over the bottle.  The weepy weepy had nothing to do with the bottle but relentless pain from being busted up.  Same thing.

You never think of it much but you should be so extremely damn glad our minds are clever enough to forget what pain felt like.  We remember it happened but not what it felt like, only that it really sucked.


There's a whole lot of relief and growing confidence it's real.

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