Thursday, May 4, 2017

Churches Don't Have to Pretend They Have Anything to Do with Religion Anymore | Thank You, Trump

Donald Trump wants churches to be able to do what the best:  collect money and spread politics.  Good on you, Donnie Boy, as they sure don't do enough of that now and do kiss Jerry Falwell Jr's ass the next time you see him.

Fox:  Trump marks National Day of Prayer, signs executive order on religious freedom
RT:  Bully pulpit: Trump signs order allowing political speech in church, lawsuit threatened


Ed:  there you go slamming religion again!

Bullshit.  Hardly any of you go to church and for what reason ... (drum roll) ... they suck at religion and you thought you could manage things better yourself.  You found that was true and never went back except maybe at Easter or Midnight Mass at Christmas.


Catholics seem to stay relatively stable and they're going with the general pitch of, well, at least we're not Inquisitors anymore and we got science too, really.

It's true; they did.  Many other churches ignore or deny science in various ways but Catholicism deals with it relatively straight-up these days.


Protestants are all over the place and if you want to find some lunatic preachers, that's the best place to start although which branch is the lady's choice, no tellin' which is the best pick for nutjobs.

Ed:  how about the Church of the Benevolent Cicada?

That could be a good starting point and I bet that church was a million-dollar winner.

Ed:  they believe eating cicadas is the pathway to eternal life

Believe me: I don't want to know.


We sent a crew out to Arkansas to interview a pastor about the floods.

Padre:  I've been telling my flock to pray to God to hold back the floodwaters but get cracking making sandbags

HTV:  is this what you did last year?

Padre:  yes.  The good Lord did not hear us but, thank God, we made plenty of sandbags

HTV:  and that was about the same as what you did the year before that?

Padre:  well, yes, the good Lord did not hear us that year either 

HTV:  tell me, Padre, did God ever advise you to move the fuck out of the flood plain for the biggest river in the country since it floods every fucking Spring?

Padre:  Donald Trump told us climate change wasn't real and we believe him so we know the flooding will stop

HTV:  I think I see, Padre.  Donald Trump gives better advice than God.  Got it.


Even without attending any church, it's not a surprise that y'all do not attend one.

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