The Rockhouse has the ongoing Cat Situation since there's the Homegirl Cat who lives outside where I put chow each day for her. That's a fair deal since I (sort of) put her out there so feeding her seems a reasonable request. (She's Yevette's cat and she has been neutered specifically to make her street legal)
There's also the Orange Interloper but she was being fed by an ex-apostate of the Rockhouse who has now departed for somewhere less spiritually bankrupt. However, she did not take the Orange Interloper with her so I'm going to change the Orange Interloper's name to Mississippi Orange because, like the real Mississippi, no-one fuckin' wants it but we still have to pay for it.
When there is only one chow bowl, these fuckin' cats will fight. There's more chow in the bowl than both of those silly cows can eat but, noooooo, they have to get territorial over the chow bowl.
I figured, aha, I will set out a second chow bowl. Now the Homegirl Cat has her bowl and I set out another one for Mississippi Orange. All will be good now, right?
No fuckin' way. There's only one thing which comes from being nice to cats ... fuckin' more of them come.
That got the new Cat Situation with the Homegirl Cat at her bowl, Mississippi Orange at her bowl, and that's when the Wimpy Orphan Interloper showed up. She's a smallish, grey-striped cat which came from who knows where. I swear these fucking animals warp into this dimension from the Cat Zone where there are fucking billions of them.
Things were still generally cool since Homegirl Cat was ok while Mississippi Orange and the Wimpy Orphan Interloper seemed to get along sharing the other.
But you know that wasn't going to last.
As I put out the chow, the Homegirl Cat's bowl gets filled first and she runs to it between my legs so other cats can't hassle her. Mississippi Orange isn't stupid and she got it quickly I would set out another so she's cool until I do that ... but ... the play changed.
When the Wimpy Orphan Interloper shows up now, Mississippi Orange leaves that bowl so the Wimpy Orphan Interloper can take it then goes over to Homegirl Cat's bowl where the snarling starts and Homegirl Cat runs away.
That's when I decided it's time for Johnny to Get his Gun and, yes, my first name is truthfully John, not Alan. Unknown why they did that and Alan is kind of a nothing name but being called Jack would have sucked. If someone called my name in an airport, half the men would turn around. Plus, if you say HI instead of HELLO, you will get arrested so, nah, I'm better off with Alan.
So I got my gun, water, that is ... fires twenty feet ... as I can't take the cat to the Gulf of Mexico but I can sure as hell bring the Gulf of Mexico to it.
I almost got it too since I was ready. When Mississippi Orange thought she would saunter over to Homegirl Cat's bowl, I already had the Gun.
Orange Mississippi is smart and she was on the move from the moment I started raising the weapon but I've got the range, see. How do you like the back stroke so far, darlin'?
Tomorrow I will increase the state of readiness since the Gun needs to be pumped to fire. However, it needs to kind of be cocked to be ready. So it shall be.
Perhaps Mississippi Orange learned from yesterday's Water Parable and realizes Do Not Fuck with the Homegirl Cat or Silas Will Fuck with You.
Perhaps it got the lesson ... since otherwise it gets the water, doesn't it.
Ref: "Silence of the Lambs"
There's also the Orange Interloper but she was being fed by an ex-apostate of the Rockhouse who has now departed for somewhere less spiritually bankrupt. However, she did not take the Orange Interloper with her so I'm going to change the Orange Interloper's name to Mississippi Orange because, like the real Mississippi, no-one fuckin' wants it but we still have to pay for it.
When there is only one chow bowl, these fuckin' cats will fight. There's more chow in the bowl than both of those silly cows can eat but, noooooo, they have to get territorial over the chow bowl.
I figured, aha, I will set out a second chow bowl. Now the Homegirl Cat has her bowl and I set out another one for Mississippi Orange. All will be good now, right?
No fuckin' way. There's only one thing which comes from being nice to cats ... fuckin' more of them come.
That got the new Cat Situation with the Homegirl Cat at her bowl, Mississippi Orange at her bowl, and that's when the Wimpy Orphan Interloper showed up. She's a smallish, grey-striped cat which came from who knows where. I swear these fucking animals warp into this dimension from the Cat Zone where there are fucking billions of them.
Things were still generally cool since Homegirl Cat was ok while Mississippi Orange and the Wimpy Orphan Interloper seemed to get along sharing the other.
But you know that wasn't going to last.
As I put out the chow, the Homegirl Cat's bowl gets filled first and she runs to it between my legs so other cats can't hassle her. Mississippi Orange isn't stupid and she got it quickly I would set out another so she's cool until I do that ... but ... the play changed.
When the Wimpy Orphan Interloper shows up now, Mississippi Orange leaves that bowl so the Wimpy Orphan Interloper can take it then goes over to Homegirl Cat's bowl where the snarling starts and Homegirl Cat runs away.
That's when I decided it's time for Johnny to Get his Gun and, yes, my first name is truthfully John, not Alan. Unknown why they did that and Alan is kind of a nothing name but being called Jack would have sucked. If someone called my name in an airport, half the men would turn around. Plus, if you say HI instead of HELLO, you will get arrested so, nah, I'm better off with Alan.
So I got my gun, water, that is ... fires twenty feet ... as I can't take the cat to the Gulf of Mexico but I can sure as hell bring the Gulf of Mexico to it.
I almost got it too since I was ready. When Mississippi Orange thought she would saunter over to Homegirl Cat's bowl, I already had the Gun.
Orange Mississippi is smart and she was on the move from the moment I started raising the weapon but I've got the range, see. How do you like the back stroke so far, darlin'?
Tomorrow I will increase the state of readiness since the Gun needs to be pumped to fire. However, it needs to kind of be cocked to be ready. So it shall be.
Perhaps Mississippi Orange learned from yesterday's Water Parable and realizes Do Not Fuck with the Homegirl Cat or Silas Will Fuck with You.
Perhaps it got the lesson ... since otherwise it gets the water, doesn't it.
Ref: "Silence of the Lambs"
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